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blankseplocked The Pirate Story Thread
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Shailagh Rose
Red Bandana Cartel
Posted - 2010.08.26 07:58:00 - [181]

So I'm really new to eve, about two weeks in. My first night I set out to mine some miners tears I popped two. The second was a badger with zero weapons (I know, I'm a badass). Well, stole his cans and made my own and took a load to the station, come back and of course he took his ore back. After killing him and his tears filling local for a while calling me names and crying, I checked his info again. He definitely quit Acme Mining Co within 5mins of me popping him and him crying.

kill linky

Even complete noobs with 2 weeks played can mine some miners tears and make them quit their mining corp. Just thought that's something for all the "2 years til i finish training and can really play" crowd.

Portia Augustus
Terminal Impact
Posted - 2010.08.26 13:21:00 - [182]

We are Yakuza.

We travel amongst you like the wind, invisible but ever-present. Your secrets are known to us, and your trust secured with time and patience. The characters we play are exactly that, actors upon their stage -- were you so foolish to call us "friend"? Did you think our deeds and labours were for your benefit?

And then, as with all things, the time has come. Your new masters have called you away to deep space, and the siren call of Avarice has so completely stolen your thoughts that you forget to protect that which matters most.

Where are your mighty dreadnoughts and batteries of guns now? Where are your forcefields and elitist pilots? What good are they to you if you can not SEE the threat? So much effort wasted, so many resources squandered for such an impotent armada. Your hangars contain only dust now. All is gone, defeated and set to ruin, by one woman with the simple power of one word.

Perhaps we shall return, in a few months, or a year, to see what additional treasures can be spirited away.

Remember: We are many, in our secret lives and hidden places, watching and waiting amongst you for the next moment of weakness.

We of the Yakuza, we thank TICT for your "largess".

Posted - 2010.08.27 16:09:00 - [183]

Everyone always tells stories about how awesome they are, but myself..I'm just gonna tell you how badly I fail at piracy. I'm working on being EVE's worst pirate ever I think.

A week or so back I'm bouncing around in my Myrmidoom and I find some 2010 player in one of those care bear beacons, CCP was nice enough to add all over low sec.

Well he was a noob in a Vexor and not much of a sporting catch, or value for ransom but figure he could at least entertain me and maybe draw in a fight. I tackled him while he was busy with some NPC's and proceed to offer him a "singing in local" ransom.

There was a few other potential targets in local so my hope was to have a little fun and maybe draw some attention to get some extra company.

While I'm giving him the details of my ransom demands, the dirty NPC's are working him over pretty good and trying to steal my ransom right out from under me. I personally would rather keep my ransoms to myself, so I engaged my fierce fighting drones to fight off the competition.

I barely managed to save the target ship as he entered structure with only about 10% left over. After securing the safety of my potential assets from the local NPC hoodlums, I get back to my business dealing with this ransom target and the collection of my payment.

Well things were looking good for a secure transaction of one "singing in local" ransom demand, when the little dishonorable dirt bag used a Multi-spec ECM jammer on me and proceeded to warp away.

[03:40:15] Mutnin > Hello sir
[03:40:20] Ransom Target > hola
[03:40:36] Ransom Target > whats shakin?
[03:40:36] Mutnin > would you like to keep your ship in tact?
[03:40:46] Ransom Target > it would be optimal,yes
[03:41:02] Mutnin > I'm giving a new player special tonight
[03:41:16] Mutnin > so it will just require singing I'm a little tea pot in local
[03:41:31] Ransom Target > wow thats it?
[03:42:08] Ransom Target > well considering the rats are about to waste me dont think its be prudent eh?

( I have to kill all the NPC's to save his ship which is hitting 10% structure as I kill last one)

[03:42:58] Mutnin > sorry didn't want those dirty NPC's to kill you off b4 I was done
[03:43:33] Mutnin > just type out the lyrics to I'm a little tea pot in local
[03:43:39] Mutnin > and you are free to go
[03:43:53] Ransom Target > whats all the words?
[03:44:25] Mutnin >
[03:44:40] Ransom Target > k one sec
[03:44:48] Ransom Target > lol thats cool u got it on hot key:P
[03:45:05] Mutnin > Cool
[03:45:37] Mutnin > I tought I was gonna lose you to those dirty pirate rats
[03:45:59] Ransom Target > yeah u almost got me wasted,whats top sup warp speed in that thing youre driving?
[03:46:10] Ransom Target > *sub warp
[03:46:24] Mutnin > well lets deal with the ransom prior to anything else

(he warps off after using a ECM Multi Spec to jam me..)

[03:48:19] Mutnin > humm I will have to rethink my ransom tactics..
[03:48:40] Ransom Target > not much of a singer
[03:48:49] Mutnin > I can see this
[03:49:28] Mutnin > well played I suppose.. but be warned I shall not be so friendly next time
[03:49:37] Ransom Target > gonna have to get me a myrm tho,didnt know u could rig them to go so fast
[03:50:18] Mutnin > well make sure you work on those support skills before hand
[03:50:52] Ransom Target > if youre going to blast people for no reason why the games?
[03:51:05] Mutnin > I'm a pirate..
[03:51:12] Ransom Target > a playful one
[03:51:17] Mutnin > however I typically take it easy on new players
[03:51:32] Ransom Target > yeah was a good learning lesson to me
[03:51:46] Ransom Target > *for me
[03:52:04] Mutnin > yea typically more fun for both parties..
[03:52:10] Ransom Target > yeah
[03:52:36] Mutnin > anyway I must kick you out of our ransom channel so the next customer can be serviced..
[03:52:46] Ransom Target > k man,enjoyed the convo
[03:52:56] Mutnin > any time..

Posted - 2010.08.27 16:53:00 - [184]

Continuing on with my horrible pirating failures..last night I was flying around low sec in a Purifier. I caught a Ferox in a belt and had my way with it gaining one more notch on the side of my trusty little bomber.

Bouncing around some more I find a hauler on a POS un-anchoring some mods, make a quick attempt on him prior to warping away before POS guns could hit me. Over all was a somewhat average night and I decided to go home.

Well, 1 jump out from my home system, I come across a Megathron on scan which is in a belt doing dirty things to the local NPCs. I decide to assist the NPC's despite having a somewhat un-certain relationship with them.

As I uncloak my trusty bomber and attempt to warp jam this scrupulous battleship, he manages to warp away before my disruptor can activate. Once again this just shows that I can't trust the local NPC pirates to get anything right, but luckily I saw the planet he warped off to and proceeded to give chase.

I landed only a few KM away from the Megathron at the planet and managed to warp jam him as he was trying to align to a gate in attempt to flee. Luckily for me in his quick attempt to escape from the belt he mistakenly left his drones behind. Knowing I was fairly safe to have my way with his ship, I proceeded to put him at half armor then open up ransom negations.

Typically it's good practice to show that you can easily kill your Ransom target, as this will normally speed up the progression of securing a payment.

Well this target gave me all the lines in the book about how broke he was and just used his last amount of ISK to buy this shiny new Megathron. If I killed it he would have nothing to make ISK in and the whole nine yards.

I decided it would be best to just have the pilot eject from his ship and then sell it back to him at a reasonable price later on. He wasn't to thrilled about this idea as he claimed to only have 1.2 million ISK left and didn't think he could make enough to get the ship back.

Well somehow we decided that if he ejected and left the ship, that I'd buy it from him for 15 million. This would give me a nice shiny Megathron for a very low price and allow this poor bloke a bit of room to get back on his feet.

Well somewhere along the line I apparently failed EVE Gaming Mechanics 101. I was under the mis-guided impression that once a person ejected from their ship, they could not re-board it as long as it was still targeted.

Well as agreed the pilot ejected from his battleship and I paid him his 15 million.. (yea yea I'm a sucker for hard luck stories) Things were looking good and I was about to add a new ship to my hanger as soon as a friendly pilot show up to fly it home for me.

This however is when I learned a valuable lesson in EVE game mechanics 101. It appears that you can re-board your own ship regardless if it's locked or not. This of course is what this devious pilot did forcing me to blow up the Megathron that I just bought for 15 million.

I managed to capture his pod and tried to get my 15 million back, but he said I could have that KM for free..


Kyrie Elieson
Posted - 2010.08.30 22:54:00 - [185]

About a year ago, I was first starting to use battleships to mission with. Being inexperienced, I lost my Hyperion to rogue drones, but was insured and wanted to buy another and finish the mission.

I came across a contract for a Hyperion and 3 Ancillary Current Routers at a discounted price, and inexperienced with rigs, I thought I'd be able to sell them later and just fly the ship.


Channel ID: -1278640
Channel Name: Private Chat (**********)
Listener: Me
Session started: 2009.08.05 21:20:46

[ 2009.08.05 21:20:51 ] Me > hey there
[ 2009.08.05 21:21:02 ] ********** > hi
[ 2009.08.05 21:21:21 ] Me > i've just spotted your contract for a hype and three rigs and noticed it was about to expire
[ 2009.08.05 21:21:42 ] Me > just wanted to tell you i'm on my way over to your region to accept the contract
[ 2009.08.05 21:21:50 ] Me > a heads up, just in case i don't make it over there in time
[ 2009.08.05 21:21:55 ] ********** > sweet thanks
[ 2009.08.05 21:22:08 ] Me > yup, be there soon (30 jumps out)
[ 2009.08.05 21:22:10 ] ********** > if you don't make it give a shout and will work it out
[ 2009.08.05 21:22:15 ] Me > alrighty
[ 2009.08.05 21:46:57 ] Me > alrighty, got the stuff
[ 2009.08.05 21:47:01 ] Me > fly safe
[ 2009.08.05 21:47:18 ] ********** > thanks

So I jump the 30 systems to pick up the ship and find that they couldn't be removed without destroying them. Miffed, I contacted him again to try for a refund (naive, I know)


Channel ID: -1279808
Channel Name: Private Chat (**********)
Listener: Me
Session started: 2009.08.05 21:54:41

[ 2009.08.05 21:54:45 ] Me > hey...
[ 2009.08.05 21:54:53 ] ********** > yes?
[ 2009.08.05 21:55:05 ] Me > sorry, i think i've misunderstood your contract
[ 2009.08.05 21:55:23 ] Me > when you listed your rigs, i didn't expect them to already be fitted
[ 2009.08.05 21:55:42 ] ********** > that is what a rigged ship means
[ 2009.08.05 21:56:05 ] Me > yeah, my mistake, i just lost my last hype and was too eager to get back in the air
[ 2009.08.05 21:56:18 ] Me > d'you think there's any chance you'd allow a refund?
[ 2009.08.05 21:56:30 ] ********** > LOL
[ 2009.08.05 21:56:54 ] Me > eh, guessing that's a no
[ 2009.08.05 21:57:19 ] ********** > sorry mate I am 42 jumps away from there
[ 2009.08.05 21:57:31 ] ********** > and at the end of the day a sale is a sale sorry
[ 2009.08.05 21:57:40 ] Me > alrighty, thanks anyway

So I sucked it up, and actually kept 1 of the rigs to help me with fitting while replacing the other two. A year later, though, I see a familiar face in my mission (Flying a cheetah):

Kyrie Elieson
Posted - 2010.08.30 22:57:00 - [186]

Edited by: Kyrie Elieson on 30/08/2010 23:44:04
Edited by: Kyrie Elieson on 30/08/2010 23:21:08
Edited by: Kyrie Elieson on 30/08/2010 23:01:40

Channel ID: -13777059
Channel Name: Private Chat (**********)
Listener: Me
Session started: 2010.08.24 23:37:12

[ 2010.08.24 23:37:17 ] Me > holy ****, its you!
[ 2010.08.24 23:38:15 ] Me > you probably don't remember me, though
[ 2010.08.24 23:38:15 ] ********** > and?
[ 2010.08.24 23:38:33 ] ********** > nope sorry
[ 2010.08.24 23:38:46 ] Me > you sold me a hyperion i think 11 months ago
[ 2010.08.24 23:38:57 ] Me > through contracts, you had it fitted with 3 ancillary current routers
[ 2010.08.24 23:39:39 ] Me > what was up with that? did you have a rack of neutrons and a shield tank on it or something?
[ 2010.08.24 23:41:52 ] Me > and that ship was wayyy out in amarr or minmatar space, i don't remember, maybe 30 jumps from here
[ 2010.08.24 23:41:59 ] Me > never thought i'd run into you
[ 2010.08.24 23:42:57 ] ********** > is there a point to this somewhere?
[ 2010.08.24 23:43:13 ] Me > not really, just thought i'd say hi
[ 2010.08.24 23:43:16 ] Me > small world, s'all
[ 2010.08.24 23:43:22 ] ********** > cool
[ 2010.08.24 23:44:15 ] Me > so when'd you start ninja salvaging?
[ 2010.08.24 23:44:27 ] ********** > been at it a while
[ 2010.08.24 23:45:22 ] Me > have you seen any yoink guys around? looks like they have a lot of fun at it
[ 2010.08.24 23:46:27 ] ********** > those guys are amatures
[ 2010.08.24 23:46:57 ] Me > how come? what makes the difference?
[ 2010.08.24 23:47:35 ] ********** > what my corp does and what they do is a bit different
[ 2010.08.24 23:47:48 ] ********** > they just salvage we loot and kill people
[ 2010.08.24 23:48:04 ] Me > well not really just salvage
[ 2010.08.24 23:48:14 ] Me > the loot the wrecks and try to draw aggro from the mission runner
[ 2010.08.24 23:48:19 ] Me > then come back and kill
[ 2010.08.24 23:49:18 ] ********** > Lag
[ 2010.08.24 23:50:53 ] ********** > not all of them do it only a hand full
[ 2010.08.24 23:51:04 ] Me > ah...
[ 2010.08.24 23:51:05 ] ********** > most of their noobs just salvage in packs
[ 2010.08.24 23:51:20 ] Me > well they're a pretty big corp/alliance, can't expect all of them to be pros
[ 2010.08.24 23:51:30 ] Me > compared to lord marvin name changed and you
[ 2010.08.24 23:51:39 ] Me > he was in my mission a little earlier
[ 2010.08.24 23:51:58 ] ********** > don't under estimate us there is much more than meets the eye
[ 2010.08.24 23:52:34 ] Me > when did i say anything that belittled you?
[ 2010.08.24 23:52:49 ] Me > i just said there were a lot of people in yoink, so you can't expect all of them to be pros
[ 2010.08.24 23:53:09 ] ********** > Me > compared to lord marvin name changed and you
[ 2010.08.24 23:53:14 ] ********** > LOL
[ 2010.08.24 23:53:24 ] Me > yeah
[ 2010.08.24 23:53:31 ] ********** > but w/e
[ 2010.08.24 23:53:31 ] Me > they can't all be pros
[ 2010.08.24 23:53:52 ] Me > compared you lord marvin name changed and you, easier to keep amateurs out of your corp

While chatting him up, I suppose he became unattentive with my slow mission and stopped his ship, perhaps going afk. Losing my tank, I warped out and back in, only to notice a "Minmatar Elite Frigate Wreck". I was fighting serps (I think).

Kyrie Elieson
Posted - 2010.08.30 23:02:00 - [187]

Edited by: Kyrie Elieson on 30/08/2010 23:44:54
Edited by: Kyrie Elieson on 30/08/2010 23:25:29
Edited by: Kyrie Elieson on 30/08/2010 23:23:52
Edited by: Kyrie Elieson on 30/08/2010 23:14:15

Channel ID: -13777857
Channel Name: Private Chat (**********)
Listener: Me
Session started: 2010.08.25 00:09:34

[ 2010.08.25 00:09:39 ] Me > sorry about your ship
[ 2010.08.25 00:09:59 ] Me > i hope it didn't cost as much as that ridiculous hype you sold me
[ 2010.08.25 00:10:19 ] ********** > so I guess this means your going to be a sorry ***** and stay docked waiting on that agression timer
[ 2010.08.25 00:10:32 ] Me > yeah, basically
[ 2010.08.25 00:10:36 ] Me > if that's ok with you
[ 2010.08.25 00:10:49 ] ********** > what a ***** but whatever
[ 2010.08.25 00:10:53 ] Me > :D


Channel ID: -13778017
Channel Name: Private Chat (**********)
Listener: Me
Session started: 2010.08.25 00:16:52

[ 2010.08.25 00:16:59 ] Me > thanks for finishing my mission
[ 2010.08.25 00:17:27 ] ********** > tell you what I will give you 10 mins to contract all the stuff you stole from my wreck and will call it good
[ 2010.08.25 00:17:38 ] Me > nope, you just paid me back
[ 2010.08.25 00:17:54 ] ********** > ok enjoy the gift you will recieve in 24 hours
[ 2010.08.25 00:17:57 ] Me > unless you wanna contract me back the salvage that you took
[ 2010.08.25 00:18:07 ] Me > actually, i already have that :/
[ 2010.08.25 00:18:14 ] ********** > nice
[ 2010.08.25 00:18:17 ] ********** > see you in 24
[ 2010.08.25 00:18:20 ] Me > 'kay
[ 2010.08.25 00:18:37 ] Me > anything else?

So while I was out of the mission, his Cheetah sitting still took aggro and popped, and I returned to find it, then left to get a quick ship to loot. I like to think what he lost (sister's probes and launcher, various faction mods including a dark blood reactor control for some reason) costed as much as the ship he sold me. Maybe I would have given his stuff back if he had given me a refund.

I waited through the weekend and didn't get a dec until now, so I guess I don't really have any incentive to keep what happened private anymore.

Keep in mind, though, don't "estimate us there is much more than meets the eye", because him and his corp is one that "actually kills people" unlike those "amateurs yoink".

So if you wanna join him and his corp in their wardec, their recruiting thread is here:



Pathetic 2-man-unable-to-recruit yoink wannabe corp tries to grief, lose covops to rats and rage wardecs the owner of the mission for looting wreck.

The Black Fleet
Posted - 2010.09.05 15:39:00 - [188]

Originally by: Alexei Greshenko
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 18:09:23
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 07:53:52
As my first post in C&P, I offer you this explosion of QQ.


I tried editing it down, but it's all high-quality tears.

And to the 2 Pilots involved herein....U MAD?

You failed just as hard as them if not harder. Go disband your alliance and delete your account.

Ran Khanon
Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
Posted - 2010.09.12 00:49:00 - [189]

My corpies and me tried to lure an Italian corp/alliance to a small fleet skirmish in their WH tonight. They decided to cowardly hug their deathstar with 7 guys for more than an hour though. We even had two of us do one of their sites and hoped that they would try the bait. Sadly to no avail. Anyway, when I check local I see a whole lot of lines of text in Italian all spoken by 1 player. I google translated it and I think this is distinct proof that being exposed to pulsars and/or black holes for too long heightens one's urge to smack to near criminal levels. (Name has been changed but available if you eve-mail me)

Italian Speaker> hello bastards
Italian Speaker> I came to ****
Italian Speaker> you kill all
Italian Speaker> ugly pieces of ****
Italian Speaker> you can throw down!
Italian Speaker> not not survive!
Italian Speaker> i will kill all
Italian Speaker> What the **** do combat with it?
Italian Speaker> I try your *******
Italian Speaker> you have become extinct
Italian Speaker> will not survive the famous
Italian Speaker> the fetching of your ally should not go ahead!
Italian Speaker> all die
Italian Speaker> leave the game!
Italian Speaker> back to farm on WoW!
Italian Speaker> I will ficcherò a finger in the ass to all
Italian Speaker> Tranzollo ****
Italian Speaker> Durlilanda're a ****
Italian Speaker> AAAA Cazzaro!
Italian Speaker> I am sending you to hell
Italian Speaker> **** come out? who you telling?
Italian Speaker> eh?
Italian Speaker> stronzone?
Italian Speaker> but you know you're a stronzone?
Italian Speaker> to Cazzaro!
Italian Speaker> you're 30 and you can not take?
Italian Speaker> Nabb but you really?
Italian Speaker> Nabb you are not?
Italian Speaker> nabbissimi you?
Italian Speaker> are not nabbisismi
Italian Speaker> Amarr tower that you shove up the ass without vaseline!
Italian Speaker> What can you eat in?
Italian Speaker> stonzium =?
Italian Speaker> what the hell are you doing?
Italian Speaker> then?
Italian Speaker> leave that ****ing pos
Italian Speaker> merdacce
Italian Speaker> ***s
Italian Speaker> seite only ***s!
Italian Speaker> but where is your CEO?
Italian Speaker> and can not do ****?
Italian Speaker> What is silent does not know what to do?
Italian Speaker> but you why you deserters in a wh sodomites?
Italian Speaker> what the hell are you laughing?
Italian Speaker> not believe us?
Italian Speaker> I'm a nightmare!
Italian Speaker> **** you in Latin?
Italian Speaker> you understand?
Italian Speaker> alllora are educated?
Italian Speaker> it is understood
Italian Speaker> idiot!
Italian Speaker> bastard you'll be
Italian Speaker> listening to me?

DawN Corp
Posted - 2010.09.14 11:42:00 - [190]

Originally by: glareneg
Originally by: Alexei Greshenko
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 18:09:23
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 07:53:52
As my first post in C&P, I offer you this explosion of QQ.


I tried editing it down, but it's all high-quality tears.

And to the 2 Pilots involved herein....U MAD?

It appears you got trolled more then they did.

I have to agree.

Lana Torrin
Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2010.09.15 01:19:00 - [191]

CCP Lana Torrin> That pirate stories thread is the worst thread ever.
CCP Zymurgist> I agree but it keeps the noobs happy.
CCP Lana Torrin> Which noobs? The C&P noobs or do you mean the trolls?
CCP Zymurgist> They are all noobs Lana, they are all noobs.

Suburban Tea Party
Posted - 2010.09.18 12:07:00 - [192]

Originally by: Lana Torrin
CCP Lana Torrin> That pirate stories thread is the worst thread ever.
CCP Zymurgist> I agree but it keeps the noobs happy.
CCP Lana Torrin> Which noobs? The C&P noobs or do you mean the trolls?
CCP Zymurgist> They are all noobs Lana, they are all noobs.

If that doesn't make a great sig quote, i don't know what will. Laughing

Posted - 2010.09.20 19:17:00 - [193]

[ 2010.09.03 21:28:01 ] *** > let this noob go plz

YARRRR!!YARRRR!!YARRRR!![ 2010.09.03 21:39:28 ] *** > :(
[ 2010.09.03 21:57:00 ] Denalipro > VOC Silver
[ 2010.09.03 21:57:03 ] Denalipro > Catatonic Dawn
[ 2010.09.03 21:57:15 ] *** > Denalipro
[ 2010.09.03 21:57:42 ] *** > rofl
[ 2010.09.03 21:58:10 ] *** > what are you saying :)
[ 2010.09.03 21:58:28 ] *** > they are in local obviously
[ 2010.09.03 21:59:00 ] *** > uh yeah... true
[ 2010.09.03 21:59:30 ] *** > busy place on friday's
[ 2010.09.03 21:59:32 ] *** > :P
[ 2010.09.03 21:59:40 ] *** > казлы...
[ 2010.09.03 21:59:47 ] *** > ah.. wise words
[ 2010.09.03 21:59:49 ] *** > ублюдки
[ 2010.09.03 22:00:01 ] *** > прилетайте в 4а)
[ 2010.09.03 22:00:15 ] *** > hohh hey look
[ 2010.09.03 22:00:17 ] *** > russians
[ 2010.09.03 22:00:32 ] Denalipro > thats sick dont say that
[ 2010.09.03 22:00:45 ] *** > english please, my russian is a bit rusty
[ 2010.09.03 22:00:58 ] *** > your's too?
[ 2010.09.03 22:01:00 ] *** > my english is a bit rusty :(
[ 2010.09.03 22:01:35 ] *** > Should incorporate google translate here
[ 2010.09.03 22:01:38 ] Denalipro > dude ur battleclinics horrible
[ 2010.09.03 22:01:55 ] Denalipro > thats a laughing matter in itself
[ 2010.09.03 22:03:49 ] *** > who's are you refering 2
[ 2010.09.03 22:04:01 ] Denalipro > not u
[ 2010.09.03 22:04:39 ] *** > :)
[ 2010.09.03 22:06:09 ] Denalipro > well actually yours is pretty bad too
[ 2010.09.03 22:06:15 ] *** > XD
[ 2010.09.03 22:06:53 ] Denalipro > no harm intended ofc
[ 2010.09.03 22:07:02 ] *** > np
[ 2010.09.03 22:07:13 ] *** > trying to get my stats up
[ 2010.09.03 22:07:16 ] *** > no luck yet
[ 2010.09.03 22:07:23 ] *** > we all are i guess m8
[ 2010.09.03 22:13:05 ] *** > o/
[ 2010.09.03 22:14:43 ] *** > ures is quite respectable denali
[ 2010.09.03 22:15:09 ] Denalipro > i mean well :P
[ 2010.09.03 22:19:35 ] *** > good hunting
[ 2010.09.03 23:20:57 ] *** > gentlemen
[ 2010.09.03 23:25:49 ] *** > gf :)
[ 2010.09.03 23:28:44 ] *** > thx :[
[ 2010.09.03 23:28:51 ] *** > gf

2010.09.03 23:25:00

Victim: ***
Corp: Lux Aeternalis
Alliance: Cloud 7 Nebulosa
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Dominix
System: Decon
Security: 0.4
Damage Taken: 9217

Involved parties:

Name: Gallente Sentry Gun / Federation Navy
Damage Done: 7486

Name: NCC 1701E (laid the final blow)
Security: -2.4
Corp: Against All Russians
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Megathron
Weapon: Ion Blaster Cannon II
Damage Done: 1731

Name: Joe Intaki
Security: -10.0
Corp: Death of Virtue
Alliance: MeatSausage EXPRESS
Faction: NONE
Ship: Megathron
Weapon: Medium Diminishing Power System Drain I
Damage Done: 0

Name: Major Reach
Security: -9.9
Corp: Violent By Design
Alliance: MeatSausage EXPRESS
Faction: NONE
Ship: Phobos
Weapon: Warp Disruption Field Generator I
Damage Done: 0

Name: Denalipro
Security: -9.2
Corp: Nictus Astartes
Alliance: Systematic-Chaos
Faction: NONE
Ship: Prophecy
Weapon: Focused Medium Pulse Laser II
Damage Done: 0

Destroyed items:

Medium Energy Neutralizer I, Qty: 2
Damage Control II
E500 Prototype Energy Vampire, Qty: 2
Remote Sensor Booster II
Remote Sensor Dampener II
Large Trimark Armor Pump I, Qty: 3
1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
Scan Resolution
X5 Prototype I Engine Enervator
Targeting Range Dampening, Qty: 2
Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane II
Garde I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)
Warden I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)

Dropped items:

Medium Energy Neutralizer I
Armor Explosive Hardener II
E500 Prototype Energy Vampire
Remote Sensor Dampener II, Qty: 2
1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I, Qty: 2
Large Armor Repairer II
Warden I, Qty: 24 (Cargo)

Names removed from the chatlog. Spitfire

Posted - 2010.10.07 19:28:00 - [194]

what happens when yo ufind an anshar in low sec?

you made friends

[ 2010.10.07 03:58:26 ] Glonn > if you ever find your self back in maut and feel like camping a gate you can hit me up
[ 2010.10.07 03:59:14 ] > right on

on a lighter note...

[ 2010.10.07 03:53:22 ] Glonn > but how fast would you ahve had reinforcements
[ 2010.10.07 03:53:48 ] > pretty quickly

Jaded Kross
Posted - 2010.10.15 04:52:00 - [195]


that is all

Dan Pyre
Posted - 2010.10.18 00:59:00 - [196]

"No, that Harpy is not worth sacrificing your Tengu."

Killmail link:

1 Billion ISK destroyed, 50mil ISK lost.

All Gunny and I wanted to do was run some missions :D

Cecilia Syal
Blood Inquisition
Posted - 2010.10.24 18:16:00 - [197]

I was getting rubble from ship wrecks i scan down, and beg in local at time and i run into pilot who running mission and ask be left alone, she was a bully and attacked me.

Here is picture

She pay me 5mil to stop scramble cause it could perma tank me as i only have 140dps with tech2 drone, i make 6mil in loot from wrecks of named module too

Cecilia Syal
Blood Inquisition
Posted - 2010.10.26 11:53:00 - [198]

Edited by: Cecilia Syal on 26/10/2010 12:41:54

I logged into my favorite system and beg there often and scan down rubble to survive, and was met with a bully who talk really bad to me, and seem to think i am new pilot or easy target? why lose sec status when i can trick them to engage me!

Cecilia Syal > hi all
Cecilia Syal > can any please spare some iskies? *rattles tin*
locals > like i said b4 go work instead of beg
Cecilia Syal > please ma'am
locals > fu noob
Cecilia Syal > why everyone so mean to me!

*some random chatter and them making fun of me*

Cecilia Syal > dont be bully please

*random chatter*

locals > ill fight u lol
locals > come to asteroid belt 10 and steal my can
locals > im a bully lol

Cecilia Syal > leave *system name* now pls
locals > and why would you want us to leave
Cecilia Syal > so i can live in peace mr

*they place cans around i steal from in my celestis and dampen the bully*

bully > sensor damped
bully > i can only lock at 20km
concerned local > watch him *name*
concerned local > he'll f u up LOL
concerned local > he has a domie
concerned local > he uses 2 point scram and web *name*
concerned local > so his drones hurt bad

*i lose one of my drone so i get mad and dock for my domi*

*he see's it and engages me as i wait not even locking, then realizes it was mistake as i let lose 1048 dps*

bully > errrr why isn't it letting me dock
Cecilia Syal > it know your bully sir
bully > ha

*blows up*

bully > peace
Cecilia Syal > i just want to teach bully lesson
concerned local > lol teach me a leseson cecilia
Cecilia Syal > ok
Cecilia Syal > once you get good kill it time to run
*he was in a rattlesnake or something locking me*


Miles Parabellum
Posted - 2010.10.29 08:32:00 - [199]

TL;DR: NO! Overheat your attention spans and read this sensational story through. You will thank me afterwards.

I'm not even sure if this qualifies as piracy, technically, but here we go anyway.
Just recently I had an "aha!"-moment when I finally figured out the whole probing ships out thing. So, naturally, I jumped in a heron and flew to a system with a relatively high number of mission runners, Argrallier, for some exercise.
I started scanning and quickly got a warpable result. A domi, nice.
I recalled my drones and hit warp.
Since this was only the first practice scanning, I didn't really have any plan for what to do once in the other guy's mission, except to plink a bit at his rats with a my 125mm rail gun and hwore some bounty.
Anyway, I dropped out of warp at the first acceleration gate, and there it was, the domi.
For a few minutes, nothing happend, but then he activated the gate into the first room.
When I arrived there myself, I found it empty except for the domi and one small wreck rather far away. The domi was sloooowly making its way to the second acceleration gate, so I beat him to it and sat there, waiting for him to jump through.
He activated it and disappeared into the second room, and I followed him like a good little puppy.
This room was full of rats, so at this point I just chose to orbit him at 500 and await the situation.
He popped five frigs, not getting aggro from the rest of the rats, and then he slowboated the 20 or so km down to them and started salvaging.
Now I knew this was gonna take a while - Whatever "this" was. But I was texting with a friend, so I didn't really pay attention, just kept orbiting him. I think about ten minutes went by, nothing happening, then he locked me and I locked back, hoping for some action. Alas, another minute or so went by, then he recalled his drones and warped out. The rats couldn't care less, and since I was still texting, I decided to just stick around and keep an eye on D-scan.
Five-six minutes later the dude appeared on D-scan in a vexor. This was finally getting interesting, so I put down the phone and started paying attention.
Within a minute, the vexor landed on grid about 60km away, immediately releasing a flight of Warrior Is.
I hit approach and activated the afterburner, locking him as soon as I was in range, trying my best to look mean and intimidating in my Caldari abstract space-art ship. Would this actually work? Could anybody be silly enough to open fire on me without having gained aggro?
Yes! He put his drones on my heron and I immediately responded by opening up with my Rail Gun of Doom. For what seemed an eternity, his drones chewed away at my ship, but finally, with about 30% armor left, Concord showed up, neuting, scramming and grinding away at the vexor.
It took a bit longer than I expected (never having witnessed a Concord intervention before, despite having played a while) but at last the cruiser popped, and the pod warped out while I looted the wreck.

Turns out the vexor was fitted with 3 x meta 2 800mm plates, a T2 Invul and the flight of Warrior Is - Which I guess is fine if all you need to do is kill a frigate.
However, I expected better knowledge of the aggro-mech and fitting techniques from a 2009-char. Oh well, at least I got an awesome KM instead with me noted for 29 points of damage and Concord for the remaining 10900 points.
Also, a "kill" in my very first mission-runner-inspection. Not too shabby :)
Although, techically, I guess the other guy was the pirate and I was the victim. I hope you guys will forgive me for posting my tasty tears in your thread :)

Posted - 2010.11.01 16:16:00 - [200]

Originally by: Razzor Death
Edited by: Razzor Death on 23/08/2010 01:31:53

Best Pirate Story Ever.


An old school troll if there ever was one :D

Xolornem Srrpep
Posted - 2010.12.04 17:28:00 - [201]

One time a Caracal warp scrammed me in a 0.4 belt, so I shot him and he died.

Gunship Diplomacy
Posted - 2010.12.10 06:10:00 - [202]

Been "pirating" a while now and have had a ton of fun stories. Think I may start a blog since they seem to occur on a regular basis but this one just happened and thought I would share.

Today I was wandering around low sec, looking for pve plexes, and I'm in a low sec system with no station. There are a number of faction warefare guys in local but I pay them no attention. I'm in a cloaky tengu. However, as I sit there doing my scanning I notice a Navy Raven on scan. Now, there is no way that thing is in a FW gang. So I run my directional to see what he's up to.

Sure enough he's at a mission... and I see wrecks. Decision time. My pvp fittings are 5 jumps away and if he's got a nice tanky setup a cloaky tengu won't be able to break the tank. I say **** it and set my destination and pick up the bat phone.

In route, I manage to get hold of two corp mates, one of which is flashy and has to go the long way to get an ishkur and the other is 9 jumps out in a hurricane. The hurricane has a very questionable internet connection I might add.

I burn to my fittings, refit and burn back all the while praying to the eve gods that the Navy Raven is still there. Alas, when I return there is no Navy Raven on scan. Just a lonely Noctis salvaging his mission. I have yet to kill a Noctis and decide I need to watch one explode. So I probe him down and promptly introduce his pod to the warm embrace of space.

Meanwhile, on vent, I'm asking how much the Noctis is selling for and otherwise bsing. I ponder out loud whether the Raven pilot would be dumb enough to come back and we all laugh. Shortly after I sit in stunned silence as I see him back in local... in his Navy Raven.

At this point, I'm debating if he is just really that dumb, or if he is trying to bait me. There are still a number of FW guys in local. I again say screw it and go in for the tackle, telling my corpies to burn back in this direction.

With my taget tackled and pew pewing his face as much as I can I watched as his shields slowly went down. All the while spamming my scanner watching for probes. There is a Loki, Hurricane, Vagabond and few others warping around the system trying to figure out where the fight is.

The first to arrive is my corp mate in an Ishkur, who begins work on our target. At this point the Navy Raven is at 40% shields and our Hurricane has lost connection twice. I see probes.

I tell the ishkur to align but keep point and dps on our target and we begin to watch short range scan. I figure if someone warps in on us we'll hold tackle long enough for them to take it so we can run away and still be on the killmail. We have yet to see anyone on short range scan though and our glorious hurricane pilot finally jumps into system and is able to join us at the mission site.

Unbelievably, at 5% structure, my overview begins to look a bit funny. I notice a pod on it. The Navy Raven pilot has ejected. At which point I scream at my corp mates to halt their dps!

I ask if either of them can fly it since I'm in the most expensive ship and neither of them is able. Bugger. So I order them to keep it locked and tackled, watch for more probes and short range scan. If anything comes on short range they will finish the job. Now, I have Caldari BS V and book it to the nearest station system to drop of my Tengu and, with luck get a Navy Raven!

Shortly after I arrive back at the scene in my pod and board the Navy Raven. It's go time and time to find out how much isk we just made (although no killmail *sad face*). The first thing I notice is that everything is burnt out. The second is that he has Caldari Navy Launchers. Everything else is T2. Oh well, I would have thought he would have at least CN BCUs but no such luck. Hard to complain though... free Navy Raven!

Inappropriate language removed. StevieSG

Gunship Diplomacy
Posted - 2010.12.10 06:21:00 - [203]

Taking stock of my situation I realize that I am in 5% structure, a Faction BS, in low sec with people that have combat probes and have GCC. Wonderful.

So begins the SS bouncing while we all watch for probes. We see them briefly, but after commenting about them in local they are withdrawn and, as far as we know, efforts made to find me cease.

We all just made roughly 200+ mill and are quite happy.

Continuing to talk about the situation on vent, and bouncing safe spots, I take a closer look at my new ship. It's fit pretty bad with 5 LSEs and 1 invuln. I'm wondering about this. Out of curiosity I mouse over the rigs to discover, there are 3x CDF II's! Jackpot! +600mill or so!

By this time my GCC has run out and I am able to haul our trophy back to high sec. We begin to talk about cashing out of our little venture and while individually the rigs and ship are worth a lot, it's a PVP fit and I begin to doubt if I will be able to get the full value for the installed rigs.

A corp mate comes up with an idea to try and sell the ship back to the previous owner, but even at a 5% discount to market prices (more than fair I would say) he tells me to keep it. Too bad :(.

So, the question now is, does anyone want to buy a Navy Raven with three T2 Large Core Defense Field Extenders?


Mickey Simon
Genos Occidere
Posted - 2010.12.18 09:57:00 - [204]

The other week I had taken to cruising around the space lanes in my VAGABOND class war vessal and was in the system of Aunnenen (I can't remember the exact spelling).

After finding naught to fight, I jumped through into another system where I spied an auto piloting MERLING class frigate. A flash and it was gone - its auto pilot had jumped it through the gate.

I scrambled for the jump gate, eager to initiate player versus player aggression and jumped in quick succession.

I was then stuck with a dilemma, there were a few gates in system, but I wasn't sure which one was on his route. On a hunch I picked Nonni and as I mashed my scanner in range of the gate a Merlin class vessal came up.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity when I finally landed at the gate. The Merlin was still 10km from the gate, so I initiated aggression and turned all of my auto cannons to "fire" mode.

The Merlin class vessal took a microsecond before deciding to blow up. One look at the loot and I instantly felt like a monster. This was a new pod pilot who no doubt had scrimped and saved to buy this Merlin.

I quickly opened my wallet and sent him a chill 1M ISK. I figured that would pay for his ship and any other less apparent damage I had caused him.

I am Mickey Simon, so good at piracy I even grief myself.

To this day, I still feel remorse and have thusly vowed to purge New Eden of all pathetic and lowsome soles who take pleasure in killing such rookie pilots for they have no honour and no skill.

Xolornem Srrpep
Posted - 2010.12.22 11:39:00 - [205]

I'm going on a MERLING killing spree and you can't stop me!

Mickey Simon
Genos Occidere
Posted - 2010.12.22 15:32:00 - [206]

Originally by: Xolornem Srrpep
I'm going on a MERLING killing spree and you can't stop me!

You're a monster :(

Fuzzysaurus Rex
Hand That Feeds
Posted - 2010.12.29 03:13:00 - [207]

I'm a new pirate, prowling the Low Sec areas around Rens, and I have a few stories of my failures.

Warped to a star in my Rifter and saw a Helios. Didn't know what a Helios was so I Info'd it and saw it was a Cov Ops. I instantly lock it and as I press my Warp Scrambler it warps out. Easy kill lost.

I've attacked a Cyno Kestrel and died to station guns because I'm too stupid to notice the station 10 km away.

Sadly, my biggest blunder was when 2 friends and me warped in on an Arbitrator and we had him, he was so close to dying. Then I try to warp out to escape drones and Warp Fleet on accident. *Facepalm* 1 of my friends stops the the warp, and before we can land back in the belt, he wets his pants and warps out at 90% armor, letting the guy get away. Needless to say, he doesn't PvP with us anymore.

Oh well, I'll get a kill eventually.

Nick Nailer
Posted - 2011.01.15 02:48:00 - [208]

the plan is: codename: "TROLL THE TROLLS"

The weekend hulkagedon starts (believe it was announced to start Feb. 1st, 2011), bring ur best trollface to jita and help disperse the market. Eve should be more than a 1 horse town, lets make it happen. This will be planned as a display of anarchy in the Chomsky sense of the word, power in the people's hands. Lets all get together and for one make the lag so unbearable ppl wont want to trade there, and 2 yuk up local so hard that no one can spam trade.

I got my eyes on this being a real successful campaign, and for any trader, lucrative event, get on board and chit up local. If this gets some decent turnout we will make it an ongoing weekend project on random intervals until ppl realize they can , plain and simple, make more selling elsewhere. In my honest opinion turnout for this event could determine the new face of EvE, with more on market in more places and bigger price fluctuations (that means you make more money to any smart trader).

This type of thing is how noobs can "win EVE" and make the sandbox a level playing field for once. For those in the dark, I did just 'win eve' at the end of 2010, and i cant even fly more than a BB for Pvp, details in previous posts of mine... All i'll say here is I made the producers take note that them being jackass' does not pay over time and hurts the game industry as a whole.

-btw 'dont take my word for it' look what Chriba has said about Jita spam bots in the past.

Time to "TROLL THE TROLLS" mutha rubba - - get your game face on, i dont want to see those spam bots have any breating room let em rot

Naomi Wildfire
Posted - 2011.01.22 18:55:00 - [209]

Edited by: Naomi Wildfire on 22/01/2011 19:02:29
My first close to pirate experience, dont go mad at me :)

Drake jumps into P3 and gets tackled by an Majesta Empire gatecap:

[18:20:28] Naomi > pay me 20m and we cease fire

*he pops*

From: Victim
damn i would have taken that deal :p

From: Naomi
sry, my mates were to fast. 10m and we reimburse the full ship, i talked to out FC about that

From: Victim
i undocked my ship, did they blow it up? if i pay 10mil you will pay for the ship?

From: Naomi
yeah, we are sorry about that and will completely reimburse you, which means a new drake and lost fittings.

*blink* *blink* +10m

From: Victim
10m has been given. dont know why but i trust you.

From: Victim
Epsilon (Drake fit linked. some bad pve/pvp combination)

From: Naomi
Thanks, please contact Tekai Foo, he is the ally leader and handles the further reimbursements.

From: Victim
okay ignore last mail then, and thank you.

a few minutes later

From: Victim
He said your not in his alliance... did you play me? : /

From: Naomi
yup, and it would have taken you 1 click to find out

From: Victim
Well 10m isnt so bad, got 22m for the loss. So your welcome, spend it well and you have yourself a nice day. : )

DawN Corp
Posted - 2011.01.25 15:36:00 - [210]

Good one.

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