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Malicous Mischief
Posted - 2010.03.20 03:18:00 - [151]

I am scanning down missions in Lustrevik. I come across a mission runner in a Nightmare in a lvl4 mission. After a while of warping in and out and salvaging most of the wrecks, the Mission Runner is down to one Large Rat. At this point he thinks that I am there to help him out and that I will share the salvage with him. All names have been changed to protect the clueless

Mission Runner > Thanks
Mission Runner > On this Mordus Mammoth, I need the salvage and the contents, ok?
Imagonnawhupya > I'll see what I can do
Mission Runner > I need this to complete my mission
Imagonnawhupya > k
Imagonnawhupya > ill help
Imagonnawhupya > So what in this wreck do you need for the mission?
Mission Runner > Do not let Imagonnawhupya get anywhere near you in a mission, he stole salvage and contents even though I gave him permission to salvage only
Imagonnawhupya > *bows*
Imagonnawhupya > I am a ninja
Local Lurker 1 > a ninja never tells...
Local Lurker 2 > Sorry Morph, you declined my convo and i was gonna split profits
Mission Runner > I have decline set automatically through the general settings because I bot mine

This is great. He admits that he macro mines.

Local Lurker 2 > Oh
Local Lurker 2 > :(
Imagonnawhupya > your loss then
Local Lurker 1 > ninjas keep silent...
Local Lurker 2 > stealing someone's mission item really sux
Imagonnawhupya > You bot mine? Some of my pirate buddies might like to know that
Local Lurker 1 > oh god..
Mission Runner > How do you think I could afford my nighmare?
Imagonnawhupya > Morph - how much is this stuff worth to you?
Local Lurker 2 > O.o
Local Lurker 1 > dude, just give him the stuff
Local Lurker 2 > yeah ... be a careninja ^^
Imagonnawhupya > but that would go against all I stand for
Mission Runner > Let me check if it affects my mission
Local Lurker 1 > you dont kill the cow, you milk it....
Local Lurker 1 > let him finish his mission
Imagonnawhupya > I never said I wouldn't. I'm just asking if my time involved might be worth something
Mission Runner > Nope, doesn't affect the mission, you can keep it, though I suspect you were going to anyway
Local Lurker 1 > ofc, if youre helping, you should get your cut
Imagonnawhupya > EXACTLY
Mission Runner > Naw, he wasn't helping, he came in on me during my mission and let me take all the hits
Imagonnawhupya > I helped clean up the mess. Thats what I do. I clean a cluttered system
Imagonnawhupya > I'm a janitor
Local Lurker 1 > dude...
Imagonnawhupya > I perform a valuable service
Mission Runner > You weren't asked and I wasn't paying you, you are a bloodsucking politician
Imagonnawhupya > BTW, I'm in a a stabber, you're in a nightmare. Who do you think is gonna take the hits better?
Imagonnawhupya > No, I'm a janitor
Mission Runner > You didn't belong there
Imagonnawhupya > I belong wherever a mess exists that needs to be cleaned up.
Mission Runner > Yep, a politician
Imagonnawhupya > I don't kiss babies
Imagonnawhupya > I don't make promises that I don't keep.
Imagonnawhupya > I'm a Cleaner, not a politician

Continued in next post...

Malicous Mischief
Posted - 2010.03.20 03:24:00 - [152]

continued from previous post

Local Lurker 3 > politician's make the mess that needs cleaned up :P
Imagonnawhupya > EXACTLY!
Imagonnawhupya > I am doing the work of the people
Local Lurker 4 > youre a scavenger, like a remora you follow sharks and eat their scraps?
Mission Runner > Nah, you don't kiss babies, you steal their lollipops
Imagonnawhupya > Well, if they just leave them lying around...
Mission Runner > Nope, you steal them while the lollipop is in transit to their mouths
Mission Runner > And we end up crying like I am doing now, call the WAMbulance
Imagonnawhupya > I recall salvaging wrecks that did not have a tractor beam. Just because I get to them before you are in tractor range...
Imagonnawhupya > Are you saying you are crying? Is that tears I see? I apologise. I'm just doing my part to keep this system pretty and empty of clutter
Mission Runner > Nah, it just makes an image, you are ninja after all
Imagonnawhupya > I move in shadows
Mission Runner > And I got plenty of salvage in the first two rooms before you came along
Imagonnawhupya > well then you have nothing to complain about.
Mission Runner > Yeah, I do, nobody likes ninjas
Imagonnawhupya > I'm just doin' my job, sir. A garbage man is never appreciated
Local Lurker 2 > but they throw flying stars and stuffs
Mission Runner > Yep, filthy little scabbers
Mission Runner > Or should I say, scab eaters
Imagonnawhupya > Well now you're just being mean
Imagonnawhupya > I clean up your mess and this is the thanks I get

So not only do I get some Mission Runner tears, but I find out he macro mines!!! :-) If anyone wants his name for a little ganking fun, send me a message ingame. For a small donation to support my efforts to keep New Eden clear of clutter, I'll happily provide a source of lulz.Twisted Evil

Posted - 2010.03.20 21:00:00 - [153]

sounds like he is trolling you and you are buying it

Eternum Praetorian
PWNED Factor
The Seventh Day
Posted - 2010.03.23 13:23:00 - [154]

The last thing he said was "LOL Rifter!!!" in local <3


The Nightmare was faction fitted and the dead pod had a full crystal set plugged into it Twisted Evil Yes this is a story of blue on blue love in null sec.

Yarr harr harr YARRRR!!

Maelstrom Crew
Posted - 2010.04.04 01:12:00 - [155]

Originally by: Eternum Praetorian
The last thing he said was "LOL Rifter!!!" in local <3


The Nightmare was faction fitted and the dead pod had a full crystal set plugged into it Twisted Evil Yes this is a story of blue on blue love in null sec.

Yarr harr harr YARRRR!!

so what is the point of your story, or lack there of? also, i want isk for my time wasted watching that video.


Demonic Empire
Everto Rex Regis
Posted - 2010.04.08 02:10:00 - [156]

Found this in my old chat logs...LOL Maru Kage..It was lots of fun being in Maru Kage..Maybe this is why people called us smack tards..Anyways This is very ******ed..Note so am I for thinking this was funny.

Raiiden > BOOB
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:40 ] Katsuragi Mimiko > BOOB
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:40 ] Leppie2 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:41 ] Iruden > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:41 ] trashman77 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:41 ] Ripley13 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:41 ] L HepheastusSon > OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE ****ED
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:41 ] TubbsKPeterson > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:42 ] wordofgod > BOOOOOOOOB!!!!
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:42 ] yapster > boon
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:43 ] Trickydeuce > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:43 ] Exordium8 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:43 ] Kairos XIII > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:43 ] Iruden > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:43 ] trashman77 > bob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:45 ] Iruden > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:45 ] trashman77 > booob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:45 ] yapster > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:47 ] Kagato Akara > 8008
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:47 ] trashman77 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:48 ] Kagato Akara > 8008
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:49 ] Bluegeneral > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:49 ] wordofgod > lol
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:49 ] L HepheastusSon > L HepheastusSon > OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE ****ED
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:49 ] Iruden > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:49 ] trashman77 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:49 ] yapster > boooooooooooooooooooooooooob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:49 ] Kagato Akara > 8008
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:50 ] SOTOPWR > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:50 ] Raiiden > BOOOBS
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:51 ] Kagato Akara > 8008
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:51 ] trashman77 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:52 ] Kagato Akara > 8008
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:53 ] Kagato Akara > 8008
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:54 ] trashman77 > boob
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:56 ] L HepheastusSon > OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE ****ED
[ 2009.12.05 04:43:58 ] Kagato Akara > 8008
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:03 ] wordofgod > so now that thats out of my system
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:06 ] L HepheastusSon > LOCAL CHAT SPIKES MMMMMMM I LOVE IT
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:14 ] wordofgod > how about some tea
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:23 ] Raiiden > lol
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:23 ] wordofgod > tea and bombs anyone?
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:45 ] Raiiden > i love steamrolling your puny corp!
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:54 ] Kairos XIII > Hold on I gotta go emo kick my dog real quick cuz L made me so angry ; ;
[ 2009.12.05 04:44:57 ] Raiiden > this is our space
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:03 ] Raiiden > you can gtfo
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:07 ] L HepheastusSon > YES TAKE OUT YOUR RL RAGE ON ME
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:08 ] L HepheastusSon > YES
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:13 ] L HepheastusSon > I LOVE IT
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:18 ] wordofgod > lol
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:23 ] Kairos XIII > XD
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:23 ] Exordium8 > kinky
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:23 ] Raiiden > yea
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:26 ] Bluegeneral > ur space and yhet we are holding ur gate.... sad

Demonic Empire
Everto Rex Regis
Posted - 2010.04.08 02:29:00 - [157]

More to that wonderful story

[ 2009.12.05 04:45:28 ] wordofgod > so
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:28 ] Raiiden > lets cut ourselves
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:31 ] Raiiden > because we're so mad
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:32 ] Raiiden > GRRR
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:32 ] wordofgod > are you guys cloaked?
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:34 ] Raiiden > GRRRR
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:36 ] Kagato Akara > KIRI!
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:39 ] L HepheastusSon > OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THE ANGER
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:40 ] Raiiden > GRRR!
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:42 ] L HepheastusSon > SOMEONE CALL THE DOCTOR
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:44 ] Raiiden > I R MAD GRRR!
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:47 ] wordofgod > avoiding the subject
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:51 ] wordofgod > are you cloaked?
[ 2009.12.05 04:45:59 ] L HepheastusSon > DOCTOR SAYS YOU NEED SOM PILLLLLZZZZZ
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:03 ] Raiiden > yo mama wears army boots
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:11 ] Raiiden > yo mammy teeth are so yella
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:16 ] Raiiden > she put the sun outta buisness
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:18 ] Katsuragi Mimiko > L HepheastusSon can you pass a message on to your father?
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:18 ] L HepheastusSon > TAKE OUR YOUR ANGER ON ME YES!!!!!
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:19 ] Raiiden > yo momma so ugly!
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:24 ] Raiiden > she scared the **** outta the toilet
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:27 ] Raiiden > yo mamma so dumb
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:31 ] L HepheastusSon > I LOVE THE ANGER RELEASE IT ON ME
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:32 ] L HepheastusSon > WOOOOO
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:36 ] Raiiden > she climbed a glass wall to see what was n the other side
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:37 ] Katsuragi Mimiko > Tell him he screams like his wife when I **** him
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:41 ] wordofgod > tell meeeeeeee
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:44 ] TubbsKPeterson > damn you are on masacistic prick aint ya
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:45 ] L HepheastusSon > LOVE THE RAGE
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:47 ] wordofgod > are you cloake?
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:48 ] L HepheastusSon > RAWR
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:50 ] wordofgod > cloaked?
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:54 ] Raiiden > yo mama so dumb she tried to drown a fish
[ 2009.12.05 04:46:59 ] Katsuragi Mimiko > But I have to give him one thing. he let me use the blood from his torn ******** for lube
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:04 ] L HepheastusSon > LOVE THE ANGER AND RAGE
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:07 ] L HepheastusSon > YES!!!!!
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:09 ] Ripley13 > hey, easy guys. they own our system, they are holding our gate. right?
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:09 ] Raiiden > EMO RAAAAAGE
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:12 ] Raiiden > **** BATS GUSY
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:13 ] Raiiden > NOW!
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:16 ] Raiiden > BAT ****TING ATTACK!
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:20 ] wordofgod > so like why are all of your members either A:in a pos B:cloaked or C: in empire?
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:44 ] wordofgod > wordofgod > so like why are all of your members either A:in a pos B:cloaked or C: in empire??
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:52 ] Ripley13 > [04:47:44] wordofgod > wordofgod > so like why are all of your members either A:in a pos B:cloaked or C: in empire??
[ 2009.12.05 04:47:57 ] Uran otan > yeah you totally invented caps bro GOOD JOB
[ 2009.12.05 04:48:00 ] trashman77 > WHO STOLE THE MONEY FROM THE HOUSE FUND WAS IT THE COCONUT MAN?
[ 2009.12.05 04:48:00 ] L HepheastusSon > NOW SPAM
[ 2009.12.05 04:48:01 ] L HepheastusSon > SPAM
[ 2009.12.05 04:48:02 ] L HepheastusSon > SPAM
[ 2009.12.05 04:48:07 ] L HepheastusSon > SPAM LOCAL IT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK RIGHT
[ 2009.12.05 04:48:08 ] Kagato Akara > /emote is chillin', watching Gundam00 as he waits...
[ 2009.12.05 04:48:16 ] trashman77 > **** THE COCONUT MAN!

HUN Reloaded
Posted - 2010.04.22 14:08:00 - [158]

A serious offer.
From: poor guy
Sent: 2010.04.21 17:48
To: xxx


I would like you to listen to me very carefully, and take what I am about to propose very seriously.

I understand that you won't, I understand you don't care, and I also understand that you get plenty of threats. I don't make threats.

I make deals.

So here's the deal. aaaaaaaaa stole from me in Jita today.

If he gives me back what he stole, or the monetary value, I don't really care. Plus 300 million punishment fee, then as a reward I won't systematically work against you. I won't become angry with you. You wouldn't like me when I am angry.

You have precisely 24 hours to respond with full payment of 571 million isk + 300 million punishment fee for a total of 871 million isk to poor guy. While aaaaaaa made the mistake, you will all take responsibility for it. Anyone you know, or are associated with will bear the burden of knowing you.

Here is the killmail:

Destroyed items:

Domination Heat Dissipation Amplifier (Cargo)
Strip Miner I, Qty: 6 (Cargo)
Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 2
Medium Cargohold Optimization I, Qty: 3
Medium Anti-Thermal Screen Reinforcer I, Qty: 3 (Cargo)
Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 6 (Cargo)
Mining Laser Upgrade II (Cargo)
Mining Drone I, Qty: 10 (Cargo)
Residual Survey Scanner I, Qty: 2 (Cargo)
Magnetic Scattering Amplifier I, Qty: 2 (Cargo)

Dropped items:

Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 2
Domination Magnetic Scattering Amplifier (Cargo)
Helium Isotopes, Qty: 72802 (Cargo)
Mining Drone II, Qty: 20 (Cargo)
Pithi C-Type Small Shield Booster (Cargo)
Hulk, Qty: 3 (Cargo)
Medium Anti-EM Screen Reinforcer I, Qty: 3 (Cargo)
Hammerhead II, Qty: 10 (Cargo)


Re: re serious offer
From: poor guy
Sent: 2010.04.22 13:13
To: xxxxx

I appreciate your attempt to make a deal in return, unfortunately I am afraid your terms are unacceptable, as I am quitting the game and selling off my characters, their safety means nothing to me any more. I am making you pay to punish you. It's personal.

As you have responded in the negative, I joyously notify you that as of 12:43 eve time you stand in non payment of monies owed. The juice starts at 10 points per day of non payment and rolls with each day.

I don't expect you to pay for at least 3 weeks. By that time you will owe 5.7 Billion isk, your other losses will be substantially more. I suggest you pay now while it is well within your means, and before I leave the game and can no longer receive ISK. To be quite honest, I really hope you don't pay. This will be so much fun.

I appreciate your attention in this matter,
Fly safe.

Posted - 2010.05.23 03:14:00 - [159]

<There is my story about my second solo PVP kill>

I'm in a 0.5 system and have looted some wrecks belonging to some miners who had a Cerberus with them and then docked. One of them slips up and says in local:

[ 00:56:59 ] Cerb Pilot > hes docked up some where

Now knowing they want to fight me I return to the belt in a griffin fitted to jam a Cerberus and begin looting again. The Cerberus attacks and I jam him. I am very very very slowly eating his buffer tank but his friends warp back in battle cruisers so I warp out.

[ 01:08:26 ] Miner 2 > u big woos
[ 01:08:37 ] Miner 2 > come back and fight
[ 01:08:45 ] Felmeric > let me get a cruiser
[ 01:14:00 ] Cerb Pilot > u not coming back for more?
[ 01:14:22 ] Felmeric > on my way now
[ 01:14:38 ] Felmeric > couldn't find a good cruiser

I bring a t1 fit destroyer and they have a battle cruiser and the Cerberus waiting for me. The both attack and my destroyer pops.

[ 01:15:44 ] Miner 1 > LOL
[ 01:15:50 ] Miner 1 > dumb ass
[ 01:15:57 ] Felmeric > well, it would have been nice if you hadn't brought a battel cruiser to back you up...
[ 01:15:58 ] Miner 2 > lol
[ 01:16:11 ] Miner 2 > 2
[ 01:16:18 ] Felmeric > didn't see the second one
[ 01:17:01 ] Miner 2 > check age of all corp members next time
[ 01:17:02 ] Miner 2 > lol
[ 01:17:37 ] Miner 1 > We mine...Do not like peeps to mess with us
[ 01:17:50 ] Miner 1 > Leave us be, We will leave you be
[ 01:19:56 ] Miner 2 > WOW u gone real quiet now
[ 01:20:00 ] Miner 2 > LOL
[ 01:20:41 ] Felmeric > i got nothing to say to that... I didn't realize you were so attached to your rat loot
[ 01:20:47 ] Felmeric > most miners don't care about it
[ 01:21:58 ] Miner 2 > if u had asked would have been different dont just steal

I return to their belt at 100km and get hit by the Cerberus. It doesn't kill my griffin.

[ 01:25:14 ] Felmeric > would have been a fun fight if your friends weren't coming back in battle cruisers to kill me
[ 01:25:37 ] Felmeric > you could have killed me in 3 hits but you might have been jammed the whole fight
[ 01:25:43 ] Cerb Pilot > thats what friends are for
[ 01:26:44 ] Miner 2 > u interumpted our mining op
[ 01:26:57 ] Miner 2 > very inconsiderate of you
[ 01:27:11 ] Felmeric > was killing me more fun then watching the lasers cycle?
[ 01:27:38 ] Miner 2 > no cos i was losing isk

I return in a Imicus and try to speed tank the Cerberus but die. I have now lost 1 frigate and 1 destroyer.

[ 01:37:26 ] Miner 1 > Are you kidding
[ 01:37:35 ] Miner 1 > Go get a ship
[ 01:37:38 ] Miner 1 > Damn
[ 01:40:39 ] Miner 2 > WOW
[ 01:40:55 ] Miner 2 > THAT WAS QUICKER THAN LAST TIME

I decided to give up on messing with them. I don't really have any reason to keep attacking them and I have managed to stop their mining for more then half an hour.

[ 01:43:10 ] Miner 1 > Sorry to all the local peeps for the drama
[ 01:43:42 ] Miner 1 > Can flipper wanna be

This bothered me quite a bit because I never touched their can.

[ 01:44:04 ] Felmeric > are you saying I am a can flipper?
[ 01:44:11 ] Miner 2 > and we all know how much ppl love can flippers
[ 01:45:24 ] Miner 1 > I said you are a wanna be can flipper
[ 01:46:04 ] Felmeric > I didn't touch your can
[ 01:46:21 ] Miner 1 > ok

I refit a harbinger for face melting DPS and a buffer tank and warp back to the belt. The rest of the corp no longer has an aggression timer against me but the Cerberus does. I hope that they won't notice their timers are up and will open fire on me.

[ 01:47:16 ] Felmeric > bye bye

I melt the Cerberus while his friends in their battle cruisers target me without opening fire. The Cerberus gets me to about 3/4 armor before it explodes. I scoop the loot and target the battle cruisers but they warp off without firing a shot.

[ 01:49:48 ] Felmeric > oh snap!
[ 01:50:14 ] Felmeric > that shut you up didn't it?
[ 01:50:40 ] Felmeric > i like how your friends just watched it happen too

Captian Aleassia
Posted - 2010.06.03 11:15:00 - [160]

25 kills in last 7 days and 0 losses, anyone?

Joe Hawks
Posted - 2010.06.03 13:35:00 - [161]

So iv been playing EVE for a few years now, and iv always been the nice guy helping out people. I do not can flip nore warp into peoples missions, and iv been grinding missions with a nice 5.0 sec.

Yesterday i desided to start another account and have a blast. Iv always seen the boards in space with most wanted and thought... why not try the dark side of the game.

Anyway Joe Hawks was born and i though i better get going with the tutorials.

After i finished the first two military tutorials i had to wait for a skill to finish to carry on next tutorial.

Well... how could i kill time waiting with not even 50.000 skill point. Gunnery 1, Minmatar frigate 2, propulsion Jamming 1, Afterburner 1, Armor repair 1.

I fitted the Slasher i got in the tutorial with 2x 150mm ac, 1 warp scram, 1 armor repper and an afterburner and headed out.

Warpping trough the belt i saw a retriver, the guy was just over one month old, so i thought, well i really dont have anything to lose.
he had a can out which i flipped... Nothing... hmmm i warpped of and came back 5 min later.

Oh my god, im dead, there the guy are in a stabber.. And yes i died fast. Man iv forgotten how it is to have few skill point.
Well back to station and refit another slasher i got in the tutorial.

After 5 min it came to my mind.. i would if the guy is back mining.. I warpped to the belt and BINGO, a nice red flashy retriver. With my 50k skill points i engaged and got him down in half hull.
Turn my gun off.. then i thought well if im gona become a pirate i better do it right, so i quickly private convoed the guy claiming 1 mill to let his ship go and started a count down from 10.

Didnt take long before the 1 mill was on my account. Wow not even 5 hours old and i already earned my first mill in piracy.

Today i desided to carry on my tutorials, and again i had to wait for a skill to finish to carry on. Would i really be able to do this 2 days in a row. Well today i could fit my Rifter given to me in a Tutorial so i quickly fitted 3x 150 ac, Web, Scram, Afterburner, Damage Control, Small armor Rep and an overdrive.

In the belts again, oh a 2 year old retriver in a corp.. wounder if that would be posible. Well i set the corp standings to -5 and had a glans in local... well his alone, lets go for it.. so i flipped 2 of his cans, and it didnt take long for the retriver to lock up the 1 day old noob and engage. He was using hammerheads.. Bummer ill problally die fast. Well they didnt really do any damage.

Got the guy down in hull and did the same as yesterday, claimed 1 mill. It didnt take long to see my account grow!!

Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.

Man i didnt exspect piracy could be this fun, and profitable for a noob not even 1 day old.


Posted - 2010.06.03 15:12:00 - [162]

Originally by: Joe Hawks
He was using hammerheads.. Bummer ill problally die fast.

Medium drones suck against frigs... Congrats on your first taste of piracy :)

pro-tip: You aren't ransoming for enough isk.

Joe Hawks
Posted - 2010.06.08 11:14:00 - [163]

Day 9

9 Day old, im getting more and more pleased with what a young toon can do. The last few days iv done another few attemts to ransom people, but without big luck really, only a few kills instead.

This morning, i flipped a retriver.. He didnt engage, darn.. Oh but a hurricane showed up from another corp, but with more or less the same name. Ah must be the main of the retriver.

He flipped the can back.. Doh, the toon was over 1 year old, that could only mean bad business, well i really didnt have much to lose so i engaged.

Man, a cane on range hit hard on a rifter and i was both scrammed and webbed so my speed wernt that great. I was just hopping to get within tracking range of his autoconnons. With most of my shield gone, he started missing.

Phyyy, i was shaking like never before, waiting for him to release his most likely warrior IIs.. weird no drones..

As i was really slowly eating trough his shield, the retriver desided to engage with his drones.. Hornets.. I quickly took them out 1 by one turning my web and guns on the drones. As i was about to engage the retriver also, it managed to warp out.

I turned focus back to the cane, still shaking. with really low skills about 450k sp now, i should be more than lucky to take down a 1 year old cane. His shield went down, and i started pounding the armor. No way i would be able to break an armor tank on a cane doing 30 damage per hit.

To my supprise i saw the armor slowly dropping. After pounding the cane for like 10 min, the retriver returned and again released his drones on me. Oh man, once more i had to turn focus on drones and take them down fast. They did manage to get into my armor before i managed to take them out. I quickly tried to lock the retriver, but again he managed to warp out.

After another 10-15 min of pounding this cane, he finally got into hull...

HA!! Ransom time, man this must sad for him, getting a ransom from a 9 days old.

Oh wait.. WHAT!!!

The guy is not in local anymore, but still here scrammed... Bummer the dude had locked out of game. Ah well nothing else i could do than blow him to pices.

I went to loot his wreck, looking forward to see this poor fit. WOW pure T2. The loot along brought in over 10 mill isk. Not bad for a 9 day old.

But yes the fit was really pore, you can find it on battleclinic.

Looking forward, for more Yarrrs in the upcomming days Very Happy

Rifter fit used:
3x 150mm ac 1
1x Warp scram 1
1x Web 1
1x ab 1
1x small armor repair 1
1x Damage control 1
1x Overdrive injection 1

Morgan Rose
Blood Money Inc.
The Blood Money Cartel
Posted - 2010.06.10 17:28:00 - [164]

Confirming Joe Hawks has a bright future as a pirate.

Posted - 2010.06.16 11:49:00 - [165]

Originally by: Project X592
Edited by: Project X592 on 07/03/2010 02:24:54
So about three months ago, I decced some corp after an engagement that resulted from can flipping...

I was out looking for war targets - or rather, my alt was - and I came across one of them in Hentogaira doing what appeared to be running missions. After probing him down I realized he wasn't doing missions at all, but whatever kind of anomalies that show up in high sec, in a drake. I hopped in my new Mega, and after a very long and tense warp, hoping he wouldn't leave, I found the drake, got a point on him, and quickly melted his shields. I attempted to get a ransom out of the guy but he didn't have the money. Overall though, he was pretty cool about it, no tears, no whining, just mild disappointment.

His brother was a different story... A few minutes later, I had this convo with him - I've renamed the guy to 'AngryItalian' and his brother to 'ItaliansBrother', you'll see why:
AngryItalian > **** YOU *****
Project X592 > o/
Project X592 > LOL
Project X592 > because I found him
AngryItalian > WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE A ****
AngryItalian > BIG ****
Project X592 > lmao ok
Project X592 > that just extended the war another week
Project X592 > i'll never tell
AngryItalian > TESTA DI CAZZO
AngryItalian > HAI CAPITOž??
Project X592 > what?
Project X592 > english
AngryItalian > HAI CAPITO?????
AngryItalian > ╚???
AngryItalian > TI AMMAZZATO
AngryItalian > TESTA DI CAZZO
AngryItalian > DOVE MINKIA ABITI?? Ú?????
Project X592 > I dont understand
AngryItalian > WHERE'S YOUR HOME ?!? HASSOLE !
Project X592 > hmmm
Project X592 > rofl
Project X592 > I live in a town in alaska
Project X592 > good
AngryItalian > YE SYES
AngryItalian > *YES YES
AngryItalian > I MINE YOU HEAD !
Project X592 > you mine my head?

I petitioned him shortly after for death threats, but he wasn't banned. I put the italian parts through a translator and it wasn't very satisfying - basically he was threatening to kill me IRL some more - if anyone who speaks Italian can offer a better translation, it should certainly provide some good lulz.

Old quotign but LOL makes me proud being italian to understand that (oh gawd the hate that guy has. English speaking issues clearly) and feel ashamed at how much italian players can be...

Xiu Dan
Hell's Boundaries
Posted - 2010.06.30 18:46:00 - [166]

This made me laugh. So I'm sitting in low sec, camping a gate with some mates.

In comes a nemesis. We're sitting there, all blinky red waiting for him to decloak. Most covertops pilots are competent and cloak right away but we always try just in case the pilot is stupid or drunk... or both.

Nemesis Pilot > Can I go through?
Corpmate > sure

2010.06.30 00:53

Victim: Bad Covertops Pilot
Corp: ****
Alliance: ****
Faction: ****
Destroyed: Nemesis
System: ****
Security: 0.4
Damage Taken: 49

Involved parties:

Name: Xiu Dan (laid the final blow)
Security: -9.9
Corp: Hell's Boundaries
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Ship: Ferox
Weapon: 200mm Railgun II
Damage Done: 49

Name: elnukeo
Security: 0.7
Corp: Hell's Boundaries
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Ship: Harbinger
Weapon: Heavy Pulse Laser II
Damage Done: 0

Destroyed items:

'Arbalest' Siege Missile Launcher, Qty: 2
Juggernaut Torpedo, Qty: 36
1MN MicroWarpdrive I
Ballistic Control System II, Qty: 2

Dropped items:

Covert Ops Cloaking Device II
'Arbalest' Siege Missile Launcher
Juggernaut Torpedo, Qty: 18
Peripheral Weapon Navigation Diameter, Qty: 2
Juggernaut Torpedo, Qty: 2126 (Cargo)

Guess he probably should have activated his cloak.

On a side note: Had this been an actual ransom or something, we would have honored it.

Zebra Corp
BricK sQuAD.
Posted - 2010.07.09 20:59:00 - [167]

Heres a lesson called, "What not to do with a megathron"

Jesslyn Daggererux
Interstellar Brotherhood of Gravediggers
The 0rphanage
Posted - 2010.07.14 21:30:00 - [168]

one day there was a new guy here who decided all stories should go in a single thread. if people didnt have to follow some inane rule, we would actually get to hear some good stories, instead of making a thread just to link to another thread. he had a bad idea and now the thread is used about as much as a troll thread about say.....lets nerf people who wants to salvage MY wrecks! (theyre MINE! i made them!)

Posted - 2010.07.15 08:25:00 - [169]

Perhaps not a pirating story per se, but it was certainly interesting. A while back I was flying around amarr in the hi sec systems, and being so close to hulkageddon, figured I'd pay a visit to some of the belts and try flipping a can in a punisher. I get there amd see two hulks and an orca jet canning. Why, I dont know, but i stole from their can anyway. I sit there for about ten minutes then leave. About forty seconds after I leave, a phoon warps in a pops the hulk. All of a sudden im getting smack talked in local for hiring a ganker. Then one of the blues I know convos me asking why I did that. (Id post the log, but I've long since cleared it.) To shorten, I loot the wreck, and contract it back for 15M.

Certainly a fun way to spend an hour.

The Black Rabbits
The Gurlstas Associates
Posted - 2010.08.03 11:03:00 - [170]

Edited by: Dograzor on 03/08/2010 11:07:27
On a goodie old day I undocked my harby in one of metropolis' lowsec system that is our home. At that moment I see a Badger Mk II landing on the other side of the station, good 25km off. I open fire on him just for the fun of it, he docks, and i warp off due to GCC.

While sitting in my safe, local looks like this:

[22:54:47] Badger Pilot > OOPS
[22:54:48] Badger Pilot > lmfao
[22:55:23] Badger Pilot > ransom?
[22:55:24] Badger Pilot > =D
[22:55:32] Badger Pilot > really should pay attention to where im going lmfao

While im sitting in my safe, I reply with this:

[22:55:51] Dograzor > 10 mill & you're free to leave the system.
[22:56:49] Badger Pilot > 5 now, 5 at gate
[22:56:56] Dograzor > sure
[22:56:59] Dograzor > 5 now
[22:57:38] Badger Pilot > 5 and u dock
[22:57:41] Badger Pilot > and ur buddy
[22:57:48] Corp Mate 1 > what ya catch dog?
[22:57:49] Dograzor > We honor our word.
[22:57:50] My CEO > he has lots of buddies
[22:57:57] Badger Pilot > mmm Im aware
[22:57:59] My CEO > but if you pay up, we will not shoot
[22:58:11] Dograzor > so if you pay me 5 now, we will let ya go
[22:58:13] Badger Pilot > I have no problem paying, i hate dying
[22:58:19] My CEO > fair play
[22:58:30] Badger Pilot > I have payed, confirmed
[22:58:34] Dograzor > he'\s payed
[22:58:36] Dograzor > confirmed
[22:58:38] Deladian > rgr
[22:58:38] Dograzor > let him go
[22:58:39] My CEO > rgr
[22:59:01] Dograzor > For all TGA in system, do not engage him.
[22:59:05] Badger Pilot > will pay second once im at gate.
[22:59:06] Corp Mate 2 > rgr
[22:59:07] Dograzor > now make your way home
[22:59:09] Dograzor > good.
[22:59:39] Badger Pilot > Thanks for being honest. Fly safe, get some good kills
[22:59:49] Badger Pilot > maybe i wont be ******ed next time =)
[22:59:52] Dograzor > ^^
[22:59:53] My CEO > ty. you fly safe

Anyways, the guy thought the whole time that I was still sitting outside camping station, so he payed up and left. I made 10 mill while typing in a safe, easymode no? YARRRR!!

Edit: He also payed the other 5 once he was through. Rare breed, honest pirate victims...

Alexei Greshenko
Creative Cookie Procuring
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2010.08.09 07:50:00 - [171]

Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 18:09:23
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 07:53:52
As my first post in C&P, I offer you this explosion of QQ.


I tried editing it down, but it's all high-quality tears.

And to the 2 Pilots involved herein....U MAD?

Posted - 2010.08.11 13:10:00 - [172]

Edited by: Oxylan on 11/08/2010 13:18:27
Yesterday our scout raport orca pilot...he jump form 0.5 to 0.4 withaut scout...

My Ceo "stop engines 300mil ransom"... No answer so we start shot, orca going down, 60% hull left, i start scream in eve voice, hold fire,he eject form ship... So i move to safe spot and i eject form armagedon,i warp to Ceo at zero km and capture orca, sad for victim he back in pod to gate probably want own ship back, but i was inside Laughing Twisted Evil

Profit riged orca,Typhon in Cargo, and hulk in sma YARRRR!!

SOL Industries
Black Thorne Alliance
Posted - 2010.08.12 01:12:00 - [173]

Totally not a 'yarr', as I'm not a pirate, but an industrialist.

Ever since I got my Blockade Runner, I've been keeping score on howmany gatecamps I've busted through, and howmany caught me.
So far, the score is:
Me: 18 vs Pirates: 1

The only time I got caught was by a good, well organised gatecamp with a HIC, and me being half asleep due to the drudgery of yet another 0.0 hauling run. So I was a bit shocked when I suddenly entered a gacecamp where there usually isn't one. I would have gotten away too, if it wasn't for me screwing up and doubletapping my cloak. :)

Still, I'd like to thank all null sec bottomfeeders, low-sec yarrbears and those 'real' pirates out there for making the life of this blockade runner a little more enjoyable. Please keep the gatecamps coming, without them, I would be horribly bored as a blockade runner, and every time I take a trip through some null sec space when there's nothing, I feel so annoyed that I could have taken a mammoth through with 5 times the cargo I carry in my prowler.

Every time I see a gatecamp, and bust through, it's a yeehaw for me. ( hence also the score )

Now, I'm sure a lot of trolls out there will consider me a carebear, personally, I don't, as I'm not afraid of PvP or piracy, it's part of this game. ( I just happen to like being the target and outsmarting said pirates through cunning, and superior firepower at my back )

On a sidenote to pirates in general: my ship is worth more than my pod, so if you DO catch me, with intent on ransom, ransom my ship, not my pod.

Posted - 2010.08.13 10:59:00 - [174]

this one time, i stole a can.

Alara IonStorm
Posted - 2010.08.13 18:45:00 - [175]

Originally by: JackTheFlipper
this one time, i stole a can.

Pics or it didn't happen.

Posted - 2010.08.18 18:03:00 - [176]

Originally by: Alexei Greshenko
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 18:09:23
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 07:53:52
As my first post in C&P, I offer you this explosion of QQ.


I tried editing it down, but it's all high-quality tears.

And to the 2 Pilots involved herein....U MAD?

It appears you got trolled more then they did.

Le Badass
Posted - 2010.08.19 01:36:00 - [177]

I was missioning level 1 missions with a friend of mine, because we were a bit bored. We were in a bit of a backwater system where they go to church a lot and so there weren't a whole lotta bars or strip clubs in the local stations. Just a lot of hill billys and miners.
While my friend turned in yet another well executed level 1 mission, where we... Well, who cares what we did, missions are only slightly more interesting than being in a coma. Anyway, I decided to just quickly check the belts for cans.
First belt I check, I notice a Typhoon mining and having 8-10 cans around it. I'm tempted, but this char has only about 600k SP, so I thought I'd leave that for now and warped to my now-ready fleet mate to go tear some new ones on defenceless NPCs.
2 minutes later, we're done and my friend has to go AFK for a little while, so I warp back to that belt.
Now, there's the typhoon, an industrial and a few retrievers. The retreivers are in random corps, but the phoon and indy are in the same corp. I just hang around and watch them a while, until a dude in a crow warps in and approaches my lone rifter. He's not in corp with any of the other ppl, but it seems he's trying to intimidate me somehow, approaching my stationary rifter, following me around when I move. He doesn't flip my can with a single unit of phased plasma, though. Strange.
He then targets me, but doesn't shoot. Now I'm curious and decide to flip the phoon-dude's can to see if that will somehow, mysteriously, allow the crow to attack.
I flip 4 cans for about 50km3 of assorted minerals into one single can of my own. Nothing happens. Hm... I hang around a bit and flip one or two cans right in front of the indy when, finally, the phoon locks and opens fire.
I expected him to alpha me or something of the sort, but he deals 14 damage.... Ok.... Bloodclaw light missiles.
Orbit 500, reload with EMP, scramble, web, fire. I can't believe this - His shields drop faster than mine. When he's into armor, I reload with fusion and just keep going. Finally after freaking minutes of orbiting and just grinding axle grease and armor plating, I get him into structure and soon after, the ship pops. I never got lower than 40% shield.
Then comes the embarassing bit: I was so busy congratulating myself, looting and flipping the rest of the cans just for fun, that I get surprised when one of his corpmates jump me in a domi.
He locks and sends out Hob IIs, but doesn't neut, web or scram me. I laugh and start warping out. Noob. Nothing happens. The speed gauge says "warping", but it's only up to 10% speed and the ship is just rocking back and forth. What the... ? Oh noes! I'm bumping into an asteroid. Fark! 10% shield. CTRL+space. Click into open space, engage AB. 75% armor. Burn away! 40% armor. Align! 5% armor. Align, goddammit! 30% hull. Pop!
Pod warps out.
Dang, that stunk.
But still, I lost around 1.5-2M, they lost over 50M in poorly fit mining phoon Laughing
Next time I'll make sure to GTFO after the kill instead of stopping the ship in the middle of a 'roid field to browse cans.

Alexei Greshenko
Creative Cookie Procuring
Rote Kapelle
Posted - 2010.08.19 07:49:00 - [178]

Originally by: glareneg
Originally by: Alexei Greshenko
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 18:09:23
Edited by: Alexei Greshenko on 09/08/2010 07:53:52
As my first post in C&P, I offer you this explosion of QQ.


I tried editing it down, but it's all high-quality tears.

And to the 2 Pilots involved herein....U MAD?

It appears you got trolled more then they did.


Lana Torrin
Brutor Tribe
Posted - 2010.08.19 08:26:00 - [179]

There was a good one back a few pages. Made me lol.

Razzor Death
Bat Country
Goonswarm Federation
Posted - 2010.08.22 04:31:00 - [180]

Edited by: Razzor Death on 23/08/2010 01:31:53
I had spent quite a few hours, with my main - mining away in a Vexor or an Exequror, but something about a 2006 toon mining in a cruiser in a belt doesn't encourage the locals. So to this end I brought forth Saint Juliana, to strike righteous revenge on the piratical denzins of high sec. I thought I would give some newbie pirates a surprise, and loaded a Bellicose with ancillary current routers. I wanted 4 midslots, so that I could fit a propulsion mod, dual webs, and a scrambler. To ensure nothing could escape my grasp. I fitted a Medium neut so that the helpless frigate would be capless - to let my 8 warrior 1 (some spare incase of getting webbed and killed), 2x dual 180mm autocannons and launcher chip away at them. The extra grid rigs let me fit a 1600mm plate for my tank. A formidable opponent for any can-flipping frig. Well, I mined, and mined, a couple of days without response. When this evening I decided to actively seek out the flippers myself, rather than let them come to me.

Saint undocked the Bellicose in Amarr, a bustling market hub, and scanned the nearby belts. A a few cans, hulk, arbitrator and a punisher (a notorious can flipper) on scan. Narrowing them down to a particular belt I warped in to assess the situation. There was an arbitrator mining away with two mining lasers, and a can sitting along side. The punisher was lurking nearby, and the hulk rapidly left the area. I checked the corp details of the two pilots, while I began my own excavation of an asteriod. Nothing untoward, and no obvious friends in system. The arbitrator locked me right away, and began some rather unsocial behaviour, bumping the Bellicose, mining my asteriod. And generally being a bastard.My initial thought was that the punisher might be his pal, and this is a story all about how, my life got flipped turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute if you'll sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air. In West Philidalphia born and raised,On the playground, is where I spend most of my days. Chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool and all shootin some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good, started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got into one little fight, my mom got scared, she said, " You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air!" I begged and pleaded with her, but she gave me a kissin and she gave me my ticket, I put on my walkman and said " I might as well kick it!"First class, yo this is bad, drinkin orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what people in Bel-air livin like' Cause' hmmm, this might be alright! I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license place said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I would say that this cat is rare, but nah, forget that yo home to Bel-air! I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8, I yelled to the cabby " Yo homie, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there! To settle my throne as the Prince of Bel-air. The Fresh Prince Of Bel-air An enjoying skirmish, I came out slightly ahead isk-wise due his collection of drones. My Bellicose was tripple rigged, which was a little excessive, and his arbi was tripple tri-marked. If I were to make a crime fighting Duo between Saint and Sanguine I would do away with the 1600mm plate and rigs, and add 2 x EAN and a damage control instead. And put t2 remote repps on Sanguine, as well as repping rigs so I could perma-run the cap. But it was a split second rapid fit with what I had in the hanger. I mean I COULD bring Sanguine in a RR Dominix, but where is the fun in that?

Best Pirate Story Ever.


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