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Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 14:52:00 - [1]
 

Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 16:03:00
Hey, I know this seems kind of off-topic for CAOD, but hear me out:

My uncle Shlomo used to play Eve with my corp, Goonfleet. He'd buy tons of timecards and just spread isk around to all the guys. Eventually, he became the leader of Rho Squad, after HaileKross, our former leader, left for India on a mission trip. This is a pretty big position, considering you're in charge of a few hundred people. Anyway, Shlomo was walking down to buy a bagel(he always liked to have lox and bagels in the morning before he went to work at the jewelers), when he was mugged. He normally kept his money in a little baggie around his neck, so when he claimed to have nothing on him, the mugger said in his testimony that he "got real mad at that fool and push"ed him. Unfortunately, instead of merely scaring my uncle, he ended up getting pushed into traffic, and died when a bus hit him.

My uncle Shlomo's one dream, coincidentally enough, was to fund a Leviathan for his brother, my daddy, Herschel "Sam Handwich" Goldstein. My mother always told me it was tacky to ask for money, but GOTH's recent post showed me that it's really not that bad.

So right now Rho has raised 20b isk and we need another 30 to build a Leviathan for Sam. If any of you are interested in taking part in my uncle Shlomo's memorial, you can send your isk to Jack Gates.
We, the bereaved, thank you for your consideration and condolences.

Shalom.



edit:

Current Total of Raised Isk:
21.5b

Goal for the Shlomo Memorial Titan:
50b

Vitae
Amarr
Uminas Innovations
X13 Alliance
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:03:00 - [2]
 

You're a sick ****...can we ban this moron?

Triggsz
Minmatar
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:12:00 - [3]
 

Beep beep i'm a bus

CARY
Caldari
Metanoia.
Test Alliance Please Ignore
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:16:00 - [4]
 

Sorry to hear of your loss, I hope your family is well and all. I will be contacting my bank to wire your account all the isk you require. We will need your SSN #, Bank account and routing number, home address, your mothers maiden name and again sorry for your lost.


Selena Burns
Caldari
The Underpant Gnomes
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:16:00 - [5]
 

My condolences :(

Lizhia Birath
Minmatar
AzTra Logistics
QUAFE Alliance
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:22:00 - [6]
 

I'm devestated by your loss. Here take my iskies. 12 billion sent~

Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:33:00 - [7]
 

Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 15:35:13
Originally by: Selena Burns
My condolences :(


Thank you. It means a lot to me and my family.

Rest in peace, uncle Shlomo. Alav hashalom.

Originally by: Vitae
You're a sick ****...can we ban this moron?


How can you be so flippant over the feelings of loss that my entire family is experiencing right now? All we want is a few billion isk to fund a memorial titan in Eve Online. You are the one who ought to be banned.

Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:36:00 - [8]
 

Originally by: CARY
Sorry to hear of your loss, I hope your family is well and all. I will be contacting my bank to wire your account all the isk you require. We will need your SSN #, Bank account and routing number, home address, your mothers maiden name and again sorry for your lost.




ok, I'll get that to you in-game, thanks

Dorina
Gallente
Black Serpent Technologies
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:42:00 - [9]
 

I am very sorry for you family lose. I can only suggest that you contact the goon that robbed IRC, because those titan parts that were stolen belonged to MAMBA, for what you need left to build the titan, because we know we will never see those parts again.

Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:44:00 - [10]
 

Originally by: Dorina
I am very sorry for you family lose. I can only suggest that you contact the goon that robbed IRC, because those titan parts that were stolen belonged to MAMBA, for what you need left to build the titan, because we know we will never see those parts again.


I'm very sorry, but I am only associated in name with most of the 5500 some-odd goons in the Swarm. I, personally, don't approve of thievery, so you have my apologies.

Thank you for your condolences.

penifSMASH
Caldari
ElitistOps
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2009.04.10 15:58:00 - [11]
 

Uncle Shlomo was a good man. He performed my bris when I was just a wee little baby.

You will be missed, Uncle Schlomo, but I take solace in the knowledge that you are now with God and residing peacefully in His Heavenly Kingdom. I will help you realize your dream of building a Leviathan by donating 1 billion isk to Jack Gates.

Godspeed.

Shinma Apollo
Caldari
BURN EDEN
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:01:00 - [12]
 

This troll would be much better if it weren't handling money on shabbat Cool

Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:04:00 - [13]
 

Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 16:05:50
Thank you, Penifs. Your 1b has been added to the total. You were always uncle Shlomo's favorite :)

Originally by: Shinma Apollo
This troll would be much better if it weren't handling money on shabbat Cool


You're assuming the sun has set here. It's currently nearing midday.

Carin K
Minmatar
Black Omega Security
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:15:00 - [14]
 

Edited by: Carin K on 10/04/2009 16:15:03
Originally by: Jack Gates
Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 16:03:00
Hey, I know this seems kind of off-topic for CAOD, but hear me out:

My uncle Shlomo used to play Eve with my corp, Goonfleet. He'd buy tons of timecards and just spread isk around to all the guys. Eventually, he became the leader of Rho Squad, after HaileKross, our former leader, left for India on a mission trip. This is a pretty big position, considering you're in charge of a few hundred people. Anyway, Shlomo was walking down to buy a bagel(he always liked to have lox and bagels in the morning before he went to work at the jewelers), when he was mugged. He normally kept his money in a little baggie around his neck, so when he claimed to have nothing on him, the mugger said in his testimony that he "got real mad at that fool and push"ed him. Unfortunately, instead of merely scaring my uncle, he ended up getting pushed into traffic, and died when a bus hit him.

My uncle Shlomo's one dream, coincidentally enough, was to fund a Leviathan for his brother, my daddy, Herschel "Sam Handwich" Goldstein. My mother always told me it was tacky to ask for money, but GOTH's recent post showed me that it's really not that bad.

So right now Rho has raised 20b isk and we need another 30 to build a Leviathan for Sam. If any of you are interested in taking part in my uncle Shlomo's memorial, you can send your isk to Jack Gates.
We, the bereaved, thank you for your consideration and condolences.

Shalom.



edit:

Current Total of Raised Isk:
21.5b

Goal for the Shlomo Memorial Titan:
50b



Heard he was a p. good man

I'll send a couple hundred mill~

goondolences

Iva Soreass
Caldari
Friar's Club
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:17:00 - [15]
 

Bell end.

Evolyze
Caldari
Caldari Provisions
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:22:00 - [16]
 

loljews

Vargrh
Gallente
The Scope
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:32:00 - [17]
 

parody of that awful Goths scam attempt, loving it YARRRR!!

Gesty Riddick
Caldari
Broski Reloaded
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:37:00 - [18]
 

EPIC LULZ JACK GATES! U R SO RANDUM XD

LULZ POOL IS CLOSED DUE TO AIDS. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT MEME FROM WHEN 4CHON RAIDED HABBO HOTEL? THAT WAS PRETTY RANDUM TOO XD

I BET SA IS JUST AS EPIC LULZ AND RANDUM AS 4CHON THO

Shinma Apollo
Caldari
BURN EDEN
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:42:00 - [19]
 

Originally by: Jack Gates
Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 16:05:50
Thank you, Penifs. Your 1b has been added to the total. You were always uncle Shlomo's favorite :)

Originally by: Shinma Apollo
This troll would be much better if it weren't handling money on shabbat Cool


You're assuming the sun has set here. It's currently nearing midday.


While that may be the case, it's still yontov on account of pessah. I challenge you to talmud memes at 10 paces.

Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:48:00 - [20]
 

Originally by: Shinma Apollo
Originally by: Jack Gates
Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 16:05:50
Thank you, Penifs. Your 1b has been added to the total. You were always uncle Shlomo's favorite :)

Originally by: Shinma Apollo
This troll would be much better if it weren't handling money on shabbat Cool


You're assuming the sun has set here. It's currently nearing midday.


While that may be the case, it's still yontov on account of pessah. I challenge you to talmud memes at 10 paces.


How dare you **** up a solemn thread about my uncle Shlomo with this offensive mockery of Jewry, you meshuggah.

Dorina
Gallente
Black Serpent Technologies
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:52:00 - [21]
 

I understand that people have no need to be mature or show self control while protected by the WWW(world wide web), because there true identity is hidden. Please put asside your feelings to a particular person based on association in game, has no barring on the real world. I ask that you try to be respectful and concederate to the family by showing restrant in not posting grabage in this thread and keep it clean. The lose of ones family member is a very real, and this person obivously had much love for the game. This is just one way to honor his uncle in a way that he can, so please troll else where and be respectful.

Thank you

p.s I hope I didn't butcher the english language to badly and that you get what I am trying to tell you.


Rebnott Valeri
Gallente
Reliables Inc
BricK sQuAD.
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:53:00 - [22]
 

Epic :)

At least some of the Goons know their classics!

(And they even are able to read)

Hinkledolph
Minmatar
North Eastern Swat
Pandemic Legion
Posted - 2009.04.10 16:56:00 - [23]
 

This thread is morbidly obese...

Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 17:03:00 - [24]
 

Originally by: Dorina
I understand that people have no need to be mature or show self control while protected by the WWW(world wide web), because there true identity is hidden. Please put asside your feelings to a particular person based on association in game, has no barring on the real world. I ask that you try to be respectful and concederate to the family by showing restrant in not posting grabage in this thread and keep it clean. The lose of ones family member is a very real, and this person obivously had much love for the game. This is just one way to honor his uncle in a way that he can, so please troll else where and be respectful.

Thank you

p.s I hope I didn't butcher the english language to badly and that you get what I am trying to tell you.




Thank you so much for the kind words. It is so hard to get across ideas and feelings on the www(world wide web) sometimes :). I would say you have a kind soul, except that I'm Jewish, and don't believe in them. Have a wonderful day :) (smiley face).

Marcus Riegn
Minmatar
Blue Team
Posted - 2009.04.10 17:08:00 - [25]
 

I Probably shouldn't be loling this hard but I gotta hand it to the op

Shinma Apollo
Caldari
BURN EDEN
Posted - 2009.04.10 17:11:00 - [26]
 

Originally by: Jack Gates
Originally by: Shinma Apollo
Originally by: Jack Gates
Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 16:05:50
Thank you, Penifs. Your 1b has been added to the total. You were always uncle Shlomo's favorite :)

Originally by: Shinma Apollo
This troll would be much better if it weren't handling money on shabbat Cool


You're assuming the sun has set here. It's currently nearing midday.


While that may be the case, it's still yontov on account of pessah. I challenge you to talmud memes at 10 paces.


How dare you **** up a solemn thread about my uncle Shlomo with this offensive mockery of Jewry, you meshuggah.


It's a shunda for the goyem.

fake edit: how do you say 0wned in yiddish?

Faife
Minmatar
Dreddit
Test Alliance Please Ignore
Posted - 2009.04.10 17:13:00 - [27]
 

gosh, i feel like i'm missing out by not having an SA account. you guys just have so much fun and not take anything seriously, it looks like a lot of fun.

Dorina
Gallente
Black Serpent Technologies
Posted - 2009.04.10 17:20:00 - [28]
 

Anyway if this situation is true then I am very sorry. If this situation isn't true, then I feel sorry for you.


Seth Quantix
Amarr
Imperial Shipment
Posted - 2009.04.10 17:26:00 - [29]
 

Why are ****ing pricks like the OP allowed to play this ****ing game.

CCP, you seriously need to make an example of this ****ing arse hole.

Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonWaffe
SOLODRAKBANSOLODRAKBANSO
Posted - 2009.04.10 17:29:00 - [30]
 

Edited by: Jack Gates on 10/04/2009 17:30:41
Originally by: Seth Quantix
Why are ****ing pricks like the OP allowed to play this ****ing game.

CCP, you seriously need to make an example of this ****ing arse hole.


why don't you go back to chestbeating over your minuscule and ultimately meaningless incursion into PL space

edit:

And don't you dare talk about my uncle Shlomo like that again. He was a saint. A SAINT.


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