| Author |
Topic |
Sarethis |
Posted - 2008.10.12 13:33:00 - [ 1]
Edited by: Sarethis on 12/10/2008 13:47:06
Yeah, another one of these posts. I'm seeing this girl I like, and things are going well, except there's a problem that's getting between us. She's very self conscious of her appearance and worries that I will lose interest, because she's a peg-leg pirate. I try to tell her that appearances don't mean much to me, but I can tell she doesn't believe me, because I can see her eye patch moisten from the tears, when she turns her good eye away from me. And I feel kind of bad, because it's hard to be near her when she comes back from a sea jaunty, as I am allergic to salt-water fish, and she always smells like mackerel. It didn't help her self esteem any when I screamed out loud as she tried to massage my back, but I couldn't help it, as my back is not accustomed to the abrasive caress of a hook hand. I try to tell her that it's not her fault that her hand got taken off in an unfortunate incident with a moray eel, but she seem inconsolable at times. I've tried removing all the mirrors from her ship, "The Salty Clam" so she wouldn't have to see her scurvy-mottled complexion while alone at sea, but nothing seems to be working. I just don't know what to do. Does anyone here have any advice? |
Neth'Rae
Gallente
State Protectorate
|
Posted - 2008.10.12 13:37:00 - [ 2]
Edited by: Neth''Rae on 12/10/2008 13:37:41wall-of-text..  edit: btw, lol  |
Lance Fighter
Amarr |
Posted - 2008.10.12 13:41:00 - [ 3]
|
Constance Harme |
Posted - 2008.10.12 13:43:00 - [ 4]
Get her a new parrott for her shoulder and if that doesn't work cut off your hand and leg and then poke out your eye, then you can yarrrr off into the sunset together. |
Sarethis |
Posted - 2008.10.12 13:46:00 - [ 5]
 Originally by: Constance Harme
Get her a new parrott for her shoulder and if that doesn't work cut off your hand and leg and then poke out your eye, then you can yarrrr off into the sunset together.
I "like" her and all, but not "dismember-myself" like. Besides, I got her a mahogany leg stump with a spanish-silver inlay, but that only calmed her down for a few days. |
MotherMoon
Huang Yinglong
|
Posted - 2008.10.12 13:58:00 - [ 6]
like omg, like it's totally time for the make-over police for sure!
1st step, replace hook hand with massage hand :) |
B0rN2KiLL
MicroFunks
Green Alliance |
Posted - 2008.10.12 13:59:00 - [ 7]
I see there is no mention of rum in this; thus my conclusion is: needs more rum. |
Marie Duvolle |
Posted - 2008.10.12 14:07:00 - [ 8]
Give her a pot of gold, that'll sooth her pirate needs. In fact that works on all women oddly enough.
|
Toshiro GreyHawk |
Posted - 2008.10.12 14:46:00 - [ 9]
1) Get her to change jobs.
2) Move to Venice Beach CA and get her work as a stunt person in Hollywood.
3) The oranges will cure her scurvy and the sun will give her a nice tan.
4) Get her a glass eye and a realistic prosthetics.
5) Rent a copy of The Player and teach her how to be a white collar criminal.
6) Use or sell the ship as an amusement ride.
7) Remember to keep your passport and a good wad of cash cached somewhere she doesn't know about - you never know when those pirate chicks are going to turn on you.
|
Kalrasha Cryton
Caldari
Black Serpent Technologies
R.A.G.E |
Posted - 2008.10.12 14:54:00 - [ 10]
Get her to play EVE |
Kazuma Saruwatari |
Posted - 2008.10.12 16:22:00 - [ 11]
okay, when I first read this post I thought I was still high off my pain medication. The thing is, I swear I havent taken any for 3 days now since I'm getting better. Holy shi- talk about delayed high! |
Brock Nelson |
Posted - 2008.10.12 18:33:00 - [ 12]
Quote:
Yeah, another one of these posts. I'm seeing this girl I like, and things are going well, except there's a problem that's getting between us.
She's very self conscious of her appearance and worries that I will lose interest, because she's a peg-leg pirate. I try to tell her that appearances don't mean much to me, but I can tell she doesn't believe me, because I can see her eye patch moisten from the tears, when she turns her good eye away from me. And I feel kind of bad, because it's hard to be near her when she comes back from a sea jaunty, as I am allergic to salt-water fish, and she always smells like mackerel.
It didn't help her self esteem any when I screamed out loud as she tried to massage my back, but I couldn't help it, as my back is not accustomed to the abrasive caress of a hook hand. I try to tell her that it's not her fault that her hand got taken off in an unfortunate incident with a moray eel, but she seem inconsolable at times.I've tried removing all the mirrors from her ship, "The Salty Clam" so she wouldn't have to see her scurvy-mottled complexion while alone at sea, but nothing seems to be working.
I just don't know what to do. Does anyone here have any advice?
There, removed the wall of text |
sg3s
Caldari
Deep Core Mining Inc.
|
Posted - 2008.10.12 21:14:00 - [ 13]
|
EnslaverOfMinmatar
Amarr |
Posted - 2008.10.12 23:33:00 - [ 14]
find another good looking girl with a non-damaged body.
then pay 2 chests full of gold coins to transplant your girl's brain into the new body or eyes, hand and leg to your girl's body |
Slade Trillgon
Endless Possibilities Inc.
|
Posted - 2008.10.13 10:48:00 - [ 15]
Edited by: Slade Trillgon on 13/10/2008 10:48:45Get her a pegged fist and let her shove it up your ****** *******  Laughing my ass off by the way. Slade |
P'uck |
Posted - 2008.10.13 16:43:00 - [ 16]
Piratey eyepatches usually are a very cheap "nightvision" tool, not something to hide your eyesocket beneath.
Seriously, dump her. You dont want a pirate gf that lost her eye fencing. |
Gustavus Adolf
Brutor Tribe
|
Posted - 2008.10.13 19:08:00 - [ 17]
Edited by: Gustavus Adolf on 13/10/2008 19:08:47
A little hand love from her would lead to a swiss cheesed pen1s.
|
Pwett
QUANT Corp.
QUANT Hegemony |
Posted - 2008.10.13 19:14:00 - [ 18]
This is nothing a turkey baster full of bleach can't solve. |
Niraia
Seekers of a Silent Paradise
|
Posted - 2008.10.13 19:16:00 - [ 19]
You need to help boost her self-confidence. Next time you board "The Salty Clam", tell her she looks pretty. |
supr3m3justic3
Caldari
GANK STARZ |
Posted - 2008.10.13 22:33:00 - [ 20]
Maybe ur a homosexual and just don't know it. or bestiality maybe?? just a thought....and be a man and dont post with an alt. |
Rubra
J. S. Bach In memoriam |
Posted - 2008.10.13 22:42:00 - [ 21]
You are asking in the wrong place.
But then again this is a troll thread and I embrace such posts as I do it every so often with alts. |
Flash Bombardo
Minmatar |
Posted - 2008.10.14 14:11:00 - [ 22]
Edited by: Flash Bombardo on 14/10/2008 14:11:08Lash her to the yard arm and splice her mainbrace! Avast behind! Yarrrrr !  |
Benilopax
Gallente
The Ashen Lion Syndicate
|
Posted - 2008.10.14 14:39:00 - [ 23]
You're having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a pirate ain't one.
Hit me! |
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