Posted - 2006.03.08 08:38:00 - [92]

 

I'd eat all the pies.

All of them.

Twice.

Posted - 2006.03.08 10:24:00 - [94]

 

Re-hire Oveur as Producer and go work in test.

dbp

Posted - 2006.03.08 11:05:00 - [96]

 

Come in to work. Make coffee. Read all the whine threads. Read all the "Emily: Comment plase!!1!" and "Emily - fix the dam bugs" threads. Throw myself off the top of the offices (assuming they're tall enough).

I don't think I'd have a thick enough skin.

Posted - 2006.03.08 14:52:00 - [98]

 

Dunno what to say. hmm...

Most likely I would have made a special paid lunch for all employees at CCP every Friday. I would give a dam in the alchoholic laws and have a late brunch. Buy lotsa champagne and kanapês. And yes, I would also make a special point with John Hallur or JunkieXL, to have him perform at every brunch/lunch. For this he will have an extra bottle of champagne all for himself under the lunch!

And If the corp treasury runs low on cash, ill just upp the supscription price. Only the Best for Eris, Oveur, Kieron, Wrangler and the rest of the guys and gals of CCP!

Niccolado

Posted - 2006.03.08 14:59:00 - [100]

 

Edited by: Usul Faust on 08/03/2006 14:59:35

Originally by: Skelum

---

Just curious what ppl would do if they became the Manager. What new goals would you set, what chages would you make.

At your first day at the office what would your opening speech be?

---

1) give myself trillions of isk, and sell it on ebay.
2) ???
3) take over the world.

Posted - 2006.03.10 20:16:00 - [102]

 

Dear staff,

We are going to do the following;

Increase subscription rates by 25%

Hire some more programers, highly talented ones, and by highly talented, I mean the people so rare, they get paid quarter of a million dollars a year because they are that good.

Suspend all content development until ALL mayor and minor bugs are fixed. (Except those specific to particular PC hardware/software combo)

Telephone support 24/7 (including Christmas Day..)

Large multi node test server with ability for players to just click to learn a needed skill, and ALL possible equipment/ships to be seeded for test purposes.

Employ some managers with a classic engineering background to beef up disapline and structure of tasks.

Fix the load balancer...

Upgrade forums to something with better search facalities, enable text only version option and IGB compatible version. (In Game Browser) (as to compare, thread in forum took up 5Mb including graphics, 5k without..)

ISD to become paid members of staff, not volenteers.

New patches to be tested for at least 2 weeks on test server, not less than 24 hours before release.

Selling of game assets to be made legal world wide, and not just in China..

Enable forums to be working when game is down..

Posted - 2006.03.10 21:05:00 - [104]

 

Originally by: Nanos

---

Dear staff,

We are going to do the following;

Increase subscription rates by 25%

Hire some more programers, highly talented ones, and by highly talented, I mean the people so rare, they get paid quarter of a million dollars a year because they are that good.

Suspend all content development until ALL mayor and minor bugs are fixed. (Except those specific to particular PC hardware/software combo)

Telephone support 24/7 (including Christmas Day..)

Large multi node test server with ability for players to just click to learn a needed skill, and ALL possible equipment/ships to be seeded for test purposes.

Employ some managers with a classic engineering background to beef up disapline and structure of tasks.

Fix the load balancer...

Upgrade forums to something with better search facalities, enable text only version option and IGB compatible version. (In Game Browser) (as to compare, thread in forum took up 5Mb including graphics, 5k without..)

ISD to become paid members of staff, not volenteers.

New patches to be tested for at least 2 weeks on test server, not less than 24 hours before release.

Selling of game assets to be made legal world wide, and not just in China..

Enable forums to be working when game is down..

---

And you'd completely destroy eve's ingame economy and cause a mass exodus away from eve.

Posted - 2006.03.10 21:11:00 - [106]

 

1. Remove alts.

2.make reserch agents operate a bit more like regular agents [occasional bpc2 offer] but still have a lotery based on reserch points.

3. create True EvE combat [Empire v empire] with true bonuses for empires that are doing well.

4. TRY and find a way for mines to be reintroduced [probably have them pop after an hour]

5. Revitalise the Bounty hunter profession.

6. create a system where 0.0 alliances can secure there terratory and feel safe in allowing neutralls from empire to trade there [creating comertial competition between alliances all vieing for empire custome]

I have to say number 6 would really revitalise eve all on its own. And i have to say ive read some things in dev comments/reports that indicate that this will start to happen in kali. [crosses fingers]

Posted - 2006.03.10 21:42:00 - [108]

 

Fire everyone in ISD

Posted - 2006.03.10 23:26:00 - [110]

 

Edited by: Okgan on 11/03/2006 00:20:08
As The Manager of EVE,

1. I would make it my personal mission to eradicate all ideas of balance. I would not strive for imbalance per se, I would simply not take balance into consideration.

2. My revised license agreement would begin with the words:

"This is a game we made. If you like it, you are more than welcome to play it. We charge a monthly fee for that. It does not entitle you to anything except the right to play the game, as long as you can behave yourself. If you do not like the game, you are strongly encouraged to stop paying for it and go away. Now that we have that out of the way, on to the technical stuff."

2. Constructive criticism and well thought-out suggestions made in a civil fashion would always be welcome on the forums. Flaming and whining would not, and I would forego all pretentions of diplomacy when my team and I were not shown the same respect. I would ensure that those players who think they can post raving, insulting, and completely pointless threads targeting me or my team would not only leave the forum crying, but would find themselves unable to post anymore.

3. I would write into the contracts of every developer under my employ that they must spend at least an hour each day playing a current MMORPG that is not EVE. They must come up with one thing per day that we should or should not be doing based on that experience.

4. ISD would become something akin to gods.

5. Every time we screwed up a deployment beyond the normal scope of deployment woes, I would come up with a reward proportional to the amount of frustration it caused the player base. Those players who helped us test the patch before rolling it out would be especially well rewarded. Those who had asked for a reward would get nothing. You should by now have some idea of what those players who demanded a reward would get.

6. Players found to be blatantly exploiting/taking part in the exploitation of game elements such as the escrow system to the point that these elements were becoming essentially useless would be warned once. If they were caught again, they would be banned - not their character, their account.

7. I would wake up the composer and beat him on the head with a large wet trout until he came up with at least three new tunes per week.

8. I would install a search engine on the forums. You would not be allowed to post a thread if you had not first searched for the main words in the title of it.

9. I would work under the assumption that players get more bored by being bored than they do by being able to do fun things.

10. My opening speech would be as follows.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Would the owner of a pink Apocolypse note that it is docked in the EVE Manager docking bay. Please find another bay at your earliest convenience. Meaning, now. Thank you."

Posted - 2006.03.11 00:14:00 - [112]

 

Originally by: sonofollo

---

Id think id boost eve to a broadband only applicaiton at minimum 128 k connection speed using DSL

---

In by which you will end my two years of play

Posted - 2006.03.11 15:20:00 - [114]

 

sack the gms, get some decent diagnostic tools in so people wont be made to feel like their getting accused of lying every time they petition something due to ccp's cruddy systems messing up

Posted - 2006.03.11 17:33:00 - [116]

 

Edited by: Meeko Gloom on 11/03/2006 17:37:07
Edited by: Meeko Gloom on 11/03/2006 17:35:34

Originally by: Ballistic Mystic

---

Hire an in-house customer support staff that isn't totally incompetent.

---

how's it going ballistic mystic, havent talked in a while

Posted - 2006.03.11 18:28:00 - [118]

 

1) Have a heart attack

2) Once I've sorted our my valium prescrription reconsider big expansions like Kali and redeploy staff to manual writing and bug fixing to reduce load on the GMs

3) Realise the gamers actually wanted the expansions and could live with bugs and slow peitions due to no manual overwhelming GMs.

4) Give up.