| Author |
Topic |
Spruillo
Gallente
Spruillo Corp
|
Posted - 2010.12.14 07:41:00 - [ 1]
So there I was performing my sworn duties protecting Federation rats from caldari scumbags in my anti-stealth bomber-stealth bomber and I was playing chicken with the caldari who kept ducking innsystem and he was like am I in his mission or am I on the accel gate and Im like lol he'll get impatient and think maybe im in his mission or and try using the gate and cloaking inwarp and burning around to bait me out but ill be like GOTCHA BRO THIS **** AINT GONNA FLAI cause im like 12km off the gate with one finger on cloak and one on the scram and ive seen his hound on dscan like 50 times then I notice the other guy insystem now and im like better back off the gate its prob his interceptor alt and if he orbits the gate to uncloak me im at a tactical disadvantage but then I see this guy's retriever on dscan WTF I think, so I figured it out, the other guy insystem prob has a pos or something and a retty named after him for bait, so I would think he's in a retty when actually he's cloaky in like a tengu or something waiting for me to jump on the caldari scumbag and things are pretty tense do I tackle the bomber when he hits the gate or is it a trap
But then I remember about dscan and narrow it down to 30 and start checking planets and I get a hit on an asteroid belt and HOLY CRAP THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY MINING IN LOSEC
So as it is my sworn duty as a Federation Militia recruit I leave my post warp over to protect this guy from the caldari scum while checking for fed rat wrecks on dscan and I get there and RETTY WRECK IN THE BELT AND HOUND WARPING OFF
So I like read about ppl mining in losec but ive never seen it happen and obviously this guy is in dire need of security forces in this war zone so I wait near his wreck figuring he'd return to the scene of the crime for his stuff to take a report when he returns, then I catch the hound on dscan and im like CRAP HES IN THE MISSION GOGOGOGO
Just as I hit 30 off the mission gate hound pilot leaves local and then the miner shows back up atron on dscan
So I do a 360 and head back to the belt to take the report and just as I get there he's already burning off cause rats show up, so I angle dscan around where he went towards just as NEGATIVE SECURITY OUTLAWS show up insystem. Im like crap I need to get that report and protect this guy from further lawlessness and I get him, amazingly, MINING IN ANOTHER BELT IN HIS ATRON
So im off to protect him and just as I land 50km off the new belt the hostile outlaw lands right on him ina Taranis so I make the tactical decision to remain cloaked since now I prob got 2 reports to take, but he burns off in the atron just as the ranis comes to a stop and im like lol this poor guy cant catch a break
So the ranis pilot leaves the belt towards station then I see the atron back on dscan and im in local like I AM WITH THE ANTI-PIRATE FEDRATION NAVY MILITIA, WE ARE NOT LIKE THE OTHERS and I warp back to the other belt and there he is lol and HES SALVAGING HIS RETTY WRECK AFTER GETTING JUMPED ON LIKE EVERYTIME HE STOPS so I am impressed by the bravery in face of outrageous lawlessness but I still got report to take so I burn right for him and just as I hit 15km and have my finger on scram and decloak again just for security purposes he burns back off.
So wtf how does a guy do his job protecting and taking reports if citizens cant sit in 1 spot for 2 minutes?!?!?!
PPL LOSEC IS DANGEROUS K BUT WE OF THE FED NAVY MILITIA CANNOT DO OUR JOB AND PROTECT YOU WHEN YOU RUN EVERYWHERE LIKE SCARED RABBITS. NEXT TIME YOU ARE GIVIN ORDERS IN LOCAL TO HALT PLZ RESPECT OUR AUTHORITY K THANKS BYE
|
Dirk Decartes
Caldari Provisions |
Posted - 2010.12.14 07:46:00 - [ 2]
shhhhhhhh
|
Bella Yar |
Posted - 2010.12.14 08:25:00 - [ 3]
Paragraphs are bad, mmm k. |
Chet Awesomelaser |
Posted - 2010.12.14 09:08:00 - [ 4]
I think this must have sounded so much better in your head before you started to write it down. Of course without any paragraphs and such.
What’s the conclusion of this story ?? That u can warp cloaked from point A to B and see how some poor fellow loses his ship because you are to afraid to uncloak and help him ??
Or that you can’t communicate whit him directly so you know in which belt he is mining and don´t have to scan him down, while in the meantime he loses his ship ?
|
Soldarius
Caldari
Peek-A-Boo Bombers
|
Posted - 2010.12.14 09:30:00 - [ 5]
 Originally by: Chet Awesomelaser
What’s the conclusion of this story ?? That u can warp cloaked from point A to B and see how some poor fellow loses his ship because you are to afraid to uncloak and help him ??
Or that you can’t communicate whit him directly so you know in which belt he is mining and don´t have to scan him down, while in the meantime he loses his ship ?
You get an F at comprehending sarcasm. |
Ospie
Ransom and Kill
Core.Impulse |
Posted - 2010.12.14 12:08:00 - [ 6]
Shanique does this type of story so much better
http://ladyshaniqua.blogspot.com/ |
Chesty McJubblies
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
|
Posted - 2010.12.14 12:10:00 - [ 7]
Originally by: Bella Yar
Paragraphs are bad, mmm k.
|
Lana Torrin
Brutor Tribe
|
Posted - 2010.12.14 13:12:00 - [ 8]
I was like  then  then  then then  then  and finally  |
Misanth
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE |
Posted - 2010.12.14 15:09:00 - [ 9]
I'm starting to like Spruillo.   |
Vasavia
Caldari
Gunpoint Diplomacy
|
Posted - 2010.12.14 16:11:00 - [ 10]
Originally by: Bella Yar
Paragraphs are bad, mmm k.
OP's wall of text sucked my cap dry :( |
Indeterminacy
THORN Syndicate
BricK sQuAD. |
Posted - 2010.12.14 17:57:00 - [ 11]
Originally by: Vasavia
Originally by: Bella Yar
Paragraphs are bad, mmm k.
OP's wall of text sucked
fyp |
Grimpak
Gallente
Midnight Elites
Echelon Rising |
Posted - 2010.12.14 17:59:00 - [ 12]
OMFG YOU PEOPLE CAN'T STOP HERE! THIS IS BAT COUNTRY! |
Vasavia
Caldari
Gunpoint Diplomacy
|
Posted - 2010.12.14 18:36:00 - [ 13]
|
Anyura |
Posted - 2010.12.14 19:27:00 - [ 14]
Originally by: Grimpak
OMFG YOU PEOPLE CAN'T STOP HERE! THIS IS BAT COUNTRY!
How long could we maintain, I wondered. How long before one of us starts raving and jabbering on these boards? It goes without saying we can't turn him loose. He'd report us to CCP and Spitfire would hunt us down like dogs. |
Nymeria Star |
Posted - 2010.12.14 21:48:00 - [ 15]
Wow nice read, thanks for your wall of text and your exciting story!
It was really a fun read and who ever says they need punctuation or paragraphs just suck.
Keep on the hard work Spruillo and give us more fai.... win I mean! |
Borun Tal
Minmatar
Space Pods Inc |
Posted - 2010.12.14 22:11:00 - [ 16]
tl;dr wall of text.
Thanks, I'll never get that 30 seconds of my life back. |
The Git |
Posted - 2010.12.14 23:23:00 - [ 17]
Originally by: Misanth
I'm starting to like Spruillo.
Bite firmly on the barrel and make sure the muzzle is pointing at a spot roughly 2 inches behind your eyes. /ingame |
Commander Dirtbag
Amarr |
Posted - 2010.12.15 07:59:00 - [ 18]
Originally by: Misanth
I'm starting to like Spruillo.
I'M starting to like Spank. And paragraphs. |
Demerz
Heretic Army
|
Posted - 2010.12.15 10:11:00 - [ 19]
Originally by: Borun Tal
tl;dr wall of text.
Thanks, I'll never get that 30 seconds of my life back.
What? You actually read anything Spruillo writes? |
Enord Loej
Caldari
Dreddit
Test Alliance Please Ignore |
Posted - 2010.12.15 13:45:00 - [ 20]
Edited by: Enord Loej on 15/12/2010 13:45:29 Originally by: Spruillo
So there I was performing my sworn duties protecting Federation rats from caldari scumbags in my anti-stealth bomber-stealth bomber and I was playing chicken with the caldari who kept ducking innsystem and he was like am I in his mission or am I on the accel gate and Im like lol he'll get impatient and think maybe im in his mission or and try using the gate and cloaking inwarp and burning around to bait me out but ill be like GOTCHA BRO THIS **** AINT GONNA FLAI cause im like 12km off the gate with one finger on cloak and one on the scram and ive seen his hound on dscan like 50 times then I notice the other guy insystem now and im like better back off the gate its prob his interceptor alt and if he orbits the gate to uncloak me im at a tactical disadvantage but then I see this guy's retriever on dscan WTF I think, so I figured it out, the other guy insystem prob has a pos or something and a retty named after him for bait, so I would think he's in a retty when actually he's cloaky in like a tengu or something waiting for me to jump on the caldari scumbag and things are pretty tense do I tackle the bomber when he hits the gate or is it a trap
But then I remember about dscan and narrow it down to 30 and start checking planets and I get a hit on an asteroid belt and HOLY CRAP THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY MINING IN LOSEC
So as it is my sworn duty as a Federation Militia recruit I leave my post warp over to protect this guy from the caldari scum while checking for fed rat wrecks on dscan and I get there and RETTY WRECK IN THE BELT AND HOUND WARPING OFF
So I like read about ppl mining in losec but ive never seen it happen and obviously this guy is in dire need of security forces in this war zone so I wait near his wreck figuring he'd return to the scene of the crime for his stuff to take a report when he returns, then I catch the hound on dscan and im like CRAP HES IN THE MISSION GOGOGOGO
Just as I hit 30 off the mission gate hound pilot leaves local and then the miner shows back up atron on dscan
So I do a 360 and head back to the belt to take the report and just as I get there he's already burning off cause rats show up, so I angle dscan around where he went towards just as NEGATIVE SECURITY OUTLAWS show up insystem. Im like crap I need to get that report and protect this guy from further lawlessness and I get him, amazingly, MINING IN ANOTHER BELT IN HIS ATRON
So im off to protect him and just as I land 50km off the new belt the hostile outlaw lands right on him ina Taranis so I make the tactical decision to remain cloaked since now I prob got 2 reports to take, but he burns off in the atron just as the ranis comes to a stop and im like lol this poor guy cant catch a break
So the ranis pilot leaves the belt towards station then I see the atron back on dscan and im in local like I AM WITH THE ANTI-PIRATE FEDRATION NAVY MILITIA, WE ARE NOT LIKE THE OTHERS and I warp back to the other belt and there he is lol and HES SALVAGING HIS RETTY WRECK AFTER GETTING JUMPED ON LIKE EVERYTIME HE STOPS so I am impressed by the bravery in face of outrageous lawlessness but I still got report to take so I burn right for him and just as I hit 15km and have my finger on scram and decloak again just for security purposes he burns back off.
So wtf how does a guy do his job protecting and taking reports if citizens cant sit in 1 spot for 2 minutes?!?!?!
PPL LOSEC IS DANGEROUS K BUT WE OF THE FED NAVY MILITIA CANNOT DO OUR JOB AND PROTECT YOU WHEN YOU RUN EVERYWHERE LIKE SCARED RABBITS. NEXT TIME YOU ARE GIVIN ORDERS IN LOCAL TO HALT PLZ RESPECT OUR AUTHORITY K THANKS BYE
I tried to reformat this with proper grammer, punctuation, and paragraphs, but after the first couple lines, I realized that the whole post was a single sentence and then I gave up. The OP is an idiot and is probably the only person who will ever read his post. |
The Git |
Posted - 2010.12.15 14:06:00 - [ 21]
Edited by: The Git on 15/12/2010 14:07:35
Blammo!!!
Sniped a Spruillo sentence spew
**Damn, really honey.....that's never happened before** |
Kikkoman6
Amarr
NON PROPERO |
Posted - 2010.12.15 15:13:00 - [ 22]
I think I counted 4 sentances, but ~80% of the text was in the first.
The first two times I tried I couldn't get past the first 10%, but the third time I stuck it out and now I am glad I did.
Nice writeup! |
Everinsearch |
Posted - 2010.12.15 15:44:00 - [ 23]
lol mining in low sec....  somethings not quite right with that boy I say. |
Bryan Walsh
The Lost Legion
|
Posted - 2010.12.15 17:11:00 - [ 24]
I think Hound pilot is me. |
Java Hun
Rockey Mountain Lumber Co. |
Posted - 2010.12.15 21:41:00 - [ 25]
Originally by: Misanth
I'm starting to like Spruillo.
|
Klauz Lycan |
Posted - 2010.12.16 04:49:00 - [ 26]
Edited by: Klauz Lycan on 16/12/2010 04:50:06
Edited by: Klauz Lycan on 16/12/2010 04:49:16
I CALL SHANANIGANS!!
/edit: added some exclamation marks !! |
Misanth
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE |
Posted - 2010.12.16 22:01:00 - [ 27]
|
Spruillo
Gallente
Spruillo Corp
|
Posted - 2010.12.17 01:42:00 - [ 28]
Originally by: Enord Loej
The OP is an idiot and is probably the only person who will ever read his post.
actually im getting sick of seeing it evrytime I come to c&p just I was so pumped up about the whole thing i just had to tell someone about ti and my exwife blocks my calls so I came to c&p stop posting and it will die |
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