Posted - 2009.03.07 22:15:00 - [1]

 

Deep Space Reporting Service -
Transcript with United Freemen Alliance [UFA]
Gendril (UFA XO / CEO PURIFY)
Posted 3-7-2009
Transcript follows:

Reporter: Mr. Gendril, it's nice to meet you.

Gendril: Yes it is isn't it.

Reporter: Er, let's get down to business. Tell me about you and your alliance.

Gendril: Gladly. I'm UFA XO. Now some people think that means I'm the top dog and commander of a huge big bloated space alliance and there's lots of truth to that, but really XO just means a Kiss and Hug. Would you like one? You look sharp in that suit.

Reporter: Um, I'm quite straight thanks.

Gendril: Well if you are tempted just keep in mind that I have tech 2 pleasure implants.

Reporter: I'll take a note. Let's refocus here. Is that it for your positions?

Gendril: Well aside from being the top dog you mean? Ho ho. Let's see, I'm also the CEO of Purify. It's sort of an actors guild who like to fly spaceships and say “zap zap” all the time.

Reporter: Zap zap?

Gendril: Yeah, it's so much safer to say zap zap than to actually zap zap.

Reporter: Well about that UFA advertises itself as some sort of force against pirates and aggressors in Eve.

Gendril: Yes.

Reporter: Well doesn't that involve some fighting?

Gendril: I suppose we have to field a force from time to time. But listen, it's so much more important to have a good marketing campaign. Do you think we could become a huge big bloated space alliance without a good PR department? Ha! Come on. We have what, 35 separate corporations. We rock! And I'm top dog.

Reporter: Well let's talk about Pod Liberation Authority. They declared war against you and they have what, like 5 active members and have been in existence for something like a week or two.

Gendril: Exactly. They are tiny and we are huge big and bloated. So we are winning.

Reporter: I don't understand. This small deadly corporation is gutting you folks and serving you up like cold sushi fed to cats and rodents.

Gendril: Whoa whoa! Stop right there. Did I mention that we are big? And they are small?

Reporter: Yes.

Gendril: So we are winning. Ipso facto. Ergo. Matzah ball.

Reporter. Um, ah, never mind. Well look, you say are some defender of trade in Eve but where does the rubber meet the road? Pod Liberation Authority is pulverizing your forces.

Gendril: I don't know anything about that and, if I did, I deny it.

Reporter: Well UFA seems to be in denial. According to UFA's public records, http://www.unitedfreemen.net/ufakb1/ Pod Liberation Authority has had 41 kills and 19 losses. But according to API verified sources, the actual number is far far worse for you. It's more like 80 kills and 19 losses for PODLA. Take a look at http://podla.griefwatch.net/?p=main Does UFA need to lie?

Gendril: You talk about facts and truth like numbers. You need to understand something son, as top kisser and hugger, the XO I mean, I get to make truth. And you know what truth is? It's not some number or true facts, it's belief! If we believe something then it's true.

Reporter: But Pod Liberation Authority is gutting you!

Gendril: You are not listening to me. Look, have you seen our logo? It's polished artwork. It's a fierce lion with sharp claws. What does Pod Liberation Authority have? I laugh at their art department. They suck. When our members come to work, they see the lion and feel good about themselves. Again, it's all about belief.

Reporter: So you are winning the war because you have a better art department?

Gendril: Yes! Look, Pod Liberation Authority might scare us silly, and they might cut us to pieces, but at the end of the day we have our Lion logo and 35 corporations. What do they have? Maybe an accurate kill board. But they will never have XO in their title! I rock.